A letter to Tide

Dear Tide Company:
>> I am writing
>> to say what an excellent product you have!
>> I've used Tide throughout my married life; my Mom always told
>> me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find
>> it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled
>> some red wineon my new white blouse. My inconsiderate
>> and uncaring husband started to berate me about how
>> clumsy I was. One thing led to another, and somehow I
>> ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I
>> tried to get the stain& out using a bargain detergent,
>> but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to
>> the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide
>> with bleach alternative; and to my surprise and satisfaction,
>> all of the stains came out! In fact, the
>> stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me
that
>> the DNA tests on my blouse were
>> negative, and then my attorney called and said that I would
>> no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance
>> of my husband. What a relief! Going through
>> menopause is bad enough without being a murder
>> suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a
>> great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write
>> a letter to the Hefty bag people.