1974 : Muhammad Ali wins the Rumble in the Jungle

On October 30, 1974, 32-year-old Muhammad Ali becomes the heavyweight champion of the world for the second time when he knocks out 25-year-old champ George Foreman in the eighth round of the "Rumble in the Jungle," a match in Kinshasa, Zaire. Seven years before, Ali had lost his title when the government accused him of draft-dodging and the boxing commission took away his license. His victory in Zaire made him only the second dethroned champ in history to regain his belt.

The "Rumble in the Jungle" (named by promoter Don King, who’d initially tagged the bout "From the Slave Ship to the Championship!" until Zaire’s president caught wind of the idea and ordered all the posters burned) was Africa’s first heavyweight championship match. The government of the West African republic staged the event—its president, Mobutu Sese Seko, personally paid each of the fighters $5 million simply for showing up—in hopes that it would draw the world’s attention to the country’s enormous beauty and vast reserves of natural resources. Ali agreed. "I wanted to establish a relationship between American blacks and Africans," he wrote later. "The fight was about racial problems, Vietnam. All of that." He added: "The Rumble in the Jungle was a fight that made the whole country more conscious."

At 4:30 a.m. on October 30, 60,000 spectators gathered in the moonlight (organizers had timed the fight to overlap with prime time in the U.S.) at the outdoor Stade du 20 Mai to watch the fight. They were chanting "Ali, bomaye" ("Ali, kill him"). The ex-champ had been taunting Foreman for weeks, and the young boxer was eager to get going. When the bell rang, he began to pound Ali with his signature sledgehammer blows, but the older man simply backed himself up against the ropes and used his arms to block as many hits as he could. He was confident that he could wait Foreman out. (Ali’s trainer later called this strategy the "rope-a-dope," because he was "a dope" for using it.)

By the fifth round, the youngster began to tire. His powerful punches became glances and taps. And in the eighth, like "a bee harassing a bear," as one Times reporter wrote, Ali peeled himself off the ropes and unleashed a barrage of quick punches that seemed to bewilder the exhausted Foreman. A hard left and chopping right caused the champ’s weary legs to buckle, and he plopped down on the mat. The referee counted him out with just two seconds to go in the round.

Ali lost his title and regained it once more before retiring for good in 1981. Foreman, meanwhile, retired in 1977 but kept training, and in 1987 he became the oldest heavyweight champ in the history of boxing. Today, the affable Foreman is a minister and rancher in Texas and the father of five daughters and five sons, all named George. He’s also the spokesman for the incredibly popular line of George Foreman indoor grills.

Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.


There are teachers and then there are educators.

LA MUERTE DE JESUS

A los 33 años Jesús fue condenado a muerte.
La "peor" muerte de la época.
Sólo los peores criminales murieron como Jesús.

Y con Jesús todavía fue peor, porque no todos los
criminales condenados a aquel castigo recibieron clavos en sus
miembros.


Sí, fueron clavos... ¡y de los grandes! Cada uno
tenía de 15 a 20 cm., con una punta de 6 cm.,y el otro extremo puntiagudo.
Ellos eran clavados en las muñecas y no en las manos como dicen.

En la muñeca, hay un tendón que llega a nuestro hombro,
y cuando los clavos fueron martillados,
ese tendón se rompió obligando a Jesús a forzar todos los músculos
de su espalda, por tener sus muñecas clavadas,
para poder respirar porque perdía todo
el aire de sus pulmones.


De esta forma era obligado a apoyarse en el clavo metido en sus pies que todavía era más grande que el de sus manos, porque clavaban los dos pies juntos.
Y como sus pies no aguantarían por mucho tiempo sin rasgarse también,
Jesús era obligado a alternar ese "ciclo" simplemente para lograr respirar.

Jesús aguantó esa situación por poco más de 3 horas.
Sí, ¡más de 3 horas! Mucho
tiempo, ¿Verdad?
Algunos minutos antes de morir,
Jesús ya no sangraba más.

Sencillamente le salía agua de sus cortes y heridas.
Cuando lo imaginamos herido,
imaginamos meras heridas, pero no.
Las de Él eran verdaderos agujeros, agujeros hechos en su cuerpo... Él no tenía más sangre para sangrar, por lo tanto, le salía agua.

El cuerpo humano está compuesto de aproximadamente 3.5 litros de sangre (en un adulto). Jesús derramó 3.5 litros de sangre;
tuvo tres clavos enormes metidos en sus miembros;
una corona de espinas en su cabeza y además un soldado
romano le clavó una lanza en su tórax.



Todo esto sin mencionar la humillación que pasó después de haber cargado su propia cruz por casi dos kilómetros,
mientras la multitud le escupía el rostro y le tiraba piedras
(la cruz pesaba cerca de 30 kilos, tan solo en la parte superior,
en la que le clavaron sus manos).




Todo eso pasó Jesús, sólo para que tú tengas un libre acceso a Dios. Para que tengas todos tus pecados lavados". ¡
Todos ellos sin excepción!
No ignores esta situación.
¡ÉL MURIÓ POR TI!
Por tí que estás ahora leyendo este e-mail...
No creas que Él murió por otros,
por aquellos que van a la iglesia
o por aquellos monjes, curas, pastores, obispos, etc....

Él murió por tí!
Es fácil pasar un chiste, fotos con tonterías o pornografías por e-mail,
pero cuando es alguna cosa relacionada con Dios,
te da vergüenza pasarlo a los demás,
porque te preocupa. Acepta la realidad, la verdad de que
JESÚS ES LA ÚNICA SALVACIÓN PARA EL MUNDO.

Dios tiene planes para tí,
Enséñales a todos lo que Él pasó,
únicamente para darte la salvación.
¡Piensa en esto ahora!


¡Dios bendiga nuestras vidas!


60 segundos con Dios


¡Durante 60 segundos, deja lo que estás haciendo!,
y !aprovecha esta oportunidad!
Veamos si Satanás puede detener esto.

Todo lo que tienes que hacer es lo siguiente:

1. Simplemente ora por la persona que te envió este
mensaje:

Señor tu conoces bien la vida de ................. y te pido
que en todo aspecto tu le bendigas y le prosperes.
Cuida de su familia, de su salud, de su trabajo
y de todos los planes trazados para este año.
No le dejes caer en tentación, mas líbralo del mal.
En el nombre de Jesús, Amén.


2. Luego, envíala a otras diez personas.

3. En un rato más, diez personas habrán orado por ti,
y tu habrás logrado que muchas personas
oren a Dios por otras personas.

4. Luego, piensa por un momento y aprecia el poder de Dios en tu vida,
por hacer lo que tú sabes que a Él le encanta.
Si no tienes vergüenza de hacer esto, por favor,
sigue las instrucciones.

Jesucristo dijo,
"Si te avergüenzas de mí, yo me avergonzaré de ti ante mi Padre"

Si no tienes vergüenza, envía este mensaje...
Sólo si crees en ello.
Sí, amo a Dios. Él es mi fuente de existencia y mi Salvador.
Él me mantiene funcionando día y noche. Sin Él, nada soy,
pero con Él "todo lo puedo en Cristo que me fortalece".

Ésta es la prueba más simple.
Si amas a Dios y no te avergüenzas de todas
las cosas maravillosas que Él ha hecho por ti,
envía esto a las personas que amas.
Suerte y que estés bien

THE CAB RIDE

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now"

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said

"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people.

But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.

Thank you, my friend...

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Jigsaw puzzle

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, looks at the box, and then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighed . . .



"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

1961 : Chuck Berry goes on trial for the second time

The second so-called "Apache trial" begins for rock-and-roller Chuck Berry. Although his earlier conviction for transporting a minor across state lines for immoral purposes in violation of the Mann Act was thrown out on appeal, the prosecution decided to retry Berry.

Chuck Berry was one of the biggest pop stars of the late 1950s when he began to have legal problems. While charges in yet another Mann Act violation were pending (which were dismissed in 1960), Berry met Janice Escalante, a Native American with roots in the Apache tribe, in a bar near El Paso, Texas. According to Berry, who took the young woman on the road with his traveling rock show, Escalante claimed to be 21 years old. After there was a falling out between the two, Escalante complained about Berry to the authorities.

During his second trial, Berry was convicted and sentenced to three years in prison. After a short stretch in Leavenworth Federal Prison, he was transferred to a Missouri jail, where he spent his time studying accounting and writing songs. Among the songs he wrote before his release from prison in October 1963 were "No Particular Place to Go" and "You Never Can Tell," later memorialized in the film Pulp Fiction.

La coma" de Julio Cortázar

Julio Cortázar escribía: "La coma, esa puerta giratoria del pensamiento"

Lea y analice la siguiente frase:

"Si el hombre supiera realmente el valor que tiene la mujer andaría en cuatro patas en su búsqueda".

Si usted es mujer, con toda seguridad colocaría la coma después de la palabra mujer.
Si usted es varón, con toda seguridad colocaría la coma después de la palabra tiene.

1904 : New York City subway opens

At 2:35 on the afternoon of October 27, 1904, New York City Mayor George McClellan takes the controls on the inaugural run of the city's innovative new rapid transit system: the subway.

While London boasts the world's oldest underground train network (opened in 1863) and Boston built the first subway in the United States in 1897, the New York City subway soon became the largest American system. The first line, operated by the Interborough Rapid Transit Company (IRT), traveled 9.1 miles through 28 stations. Running from City Hall in lower Manhattan to Grand Central Terminal in midtown, and then heading west along 42nd Street to Times Square, the line finished by zipping north, all the way to 145th Street and Broadway in Harlem. On opening day, Mayor McClellan so enjoyed his stint as engineer that he stayed at the controls all the way from City Hall to 103rd Street.

At 7 p.m. that evening, the subway opened to the general public, and more than 100,000 people paid a nickel each to take their first ride under Manhattan. IRT service expanded to the Bronx in 1905, to Brooklyn in 1908 and to Queens in 1915. Since 1968, the subway has been controlled by the Metropolitan Transport Authority (MTA). The system now has 26 lines and 468 stations in operation; the longest line, the 8th Avenue "A" Express train, stretches more than 32 miles, from the northern tip of Manhattan to the far southeast corner of Queens.

Every day, some 4.5 million passengers take the subway in New York. With the exception of the PATH train connecting New York with New Jersey and some parts of Chicago's elevated train system, New York's subway is the only rapid transit system in the world that runs 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No matter how crowded or dirty, the subway is one New York City institution few New Yorkers—or tourists—could do without

LAS CARICIAS DESPUES DE 20 AÑOS DE CASADOS

PARA TODOS LOS AMOROSOS ESPOSOS:

Después de 20 años de casados, una pareja estaba acostada en la cama una noche cuando la esposa sintió a su marido acariciarle de una manera que no lo había hecho en bastante tiempo.

Sus caricias eran muy sensuales, empezando por la nuca hasta llegar a su espalda. Después acaricio sus hombros, bajando lentamente hacia sus senos y parando justo después de su ombligo. Después puso su mano en el interior de su brazo izquierdo, acariciando el lado de su seno, bajando por su costado, sobre la nalga hasta llegar a la pantorrilla. Siguió hacia arriba por el interior de su pierna parándose en la ingle.

Repitió, las mismas caricias en el lado derecho y de repente paró, se dio la vuelta y se puso a ver la televisión.

La esposa, que estaba muy excitada, le preguntó con una voz muy dulce: "Lo que estabas haciendo estaba maravilloso. ¿Por qué paraste?"

Y él le respondió:

"Ya encontré el control".

Reggae star Gregory Isaacs dies at age 60

Jamaican singer Gregory Isaacs died of cancer today at his London home, his manager confirms. He was 60.

Isaacs became one of the world’s biggest reggae stars in the 1970s and 1980s with major hits like “Night Nurse” (hear it after the jump) and “Rumours,” spanning the transition from more traditional styles to synth-based dancehall.

“Yes, it’s true,” Isaacs’ manager, Copeland Forbes, writes in an email to the Music Mix. “Gregory passed away this morning in London at 4 A.M. He had a tumor which had spread to other areas of his body. He was 60 years old. I spoke with him last week and he said that I should read Psalm 41 and Psalm 91 for him. I had made arrangements to go back to London on Wednesday to see him as I hadn’t seen him since we went to London together to do the Big Chill Festival (his last show in his life), which had over 60,000 people in attendance. He was the only reggae act on the bill. May his soul rest in peace.”

Please join the Music Mix in sending our condolences to the family, friends, and fans of reggae’s Cool Ruler.

1992 : Toronto Blue Jays finally win a World Series for Canada

On October 24, 1992, the Toronto Blue Jays beat the Atlanta Braves in the sixth game of the World Series to win the championship. It was the first time a Canadian team had ever won the trophy, and it was a truly international victory—the Blue Jays’ 25-man roster included several players of Puerto Rican descent, a Jamaican, three Dominicans and no actual Canadians.

The series itself was a bit of a nail-biter: Four of the six games were decided by a single run, and three were won in the last at-bat. The Braves won the first game relatively handily (that is, by two runs). The Jays won the second 5-4 (they were trailing 4-3 when they came to bat in the ninth), the third 3-2 (thanks to a bases-loaded single at the bottom of the last inning) and the fourth 2-1. The Braves won Game 5 easily, as John Smoltz and Mike Stanton pitched to a 7-2 victory.

In Game 6, the Braves were losing by one run at the beginning of the ninth inning. They put runners on first and second, and then pinch-hitter Francisco Cabrera scorched a line drive to left that, if Candy Maldonado hadn’t made an impossible catch at the last minute, would have scored at least two runs. As it happened, the next batter singled to tie the game and force it into extra innings.

At the top of the 11th, with two out and two on, 41-year-old Blue Jay Dave Winfield cranked a 3-2 pitch low down the left-field line, sending two of his teammates home. At the bottom of the inning, the Braves managed to score once and even got the tying run to third, but it wasn’t enough. Toronto reliever Mike Timlin got Otis Nixon to bunt, then charged the blooper and tossed the ball to first in plenty of time. It was a rather anti-climactic ending to a highly climactic series, but it did the job: The Blue Jays were the champions. "No one can say we choke anymore," Toronto’s Roberto Alomar told reporters in the locker room after the game. "This is a great club. We won like champions."

OCTOBER 23 1993 : Carter homers to win World Series

On October 23, 1993, Toronto Blue Jay Joe Carter does what every kid dreams of—he wins the World Series for his team by whacking a ninth-inning home run over the SkyDome’s left-field wall. It was the first time the World Series had ended with a home run since Pittsburgh’s Bill Mazeroski homered to break a 9-9 tie with the Yankees in the seventh game of the 1960 series, and it was the first time in baseball history that a team won the championship with a come-from-behind home run.

The Blue Jays were leading the series three games to two, but thanks to a five-run seventh inning (punctuated by a three-run blast from outfielder Lenny Dykstra), the Philadelphia Phillies were ahead 6-5 in the ninth. It looked like the Phils would tie the series and force a seventh game—but then they brought reliever Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams out of the bullpen. Though Williams had saved an impressive 45 games that season, he’d earned his nickname by throwing wild pitches when his team was in a tight spot, and he’d already blown a 14-9 lead for the Phillies in Game 4.

Williams did just what the Blue Jays were hoping he’d do. First he walked leadoff batter Rickey Henderson in four straight pitches. Then, after Devon White finally popped out to left field after nine pitches, Williams gave up a single to Series MVP Paul Molitor. With Henderson on second and Molitor on first, Joe Carter stepped up to the plate.

Carter took two balls, then two strikes. Then he cracked a low slider hard toward the left-field pole. "Ninety-nine times out of a hundred," he said later, "I hook that pitch way foul." But this time, he didn’t. The ball swerved right and disappeared over the wall.

"It was the ultimate sports fantasy," Carter said. His memorable homer won the game and the series, the highest-scoring in history (81 runs in all) and the Blue Jays’ second championship in a row. And it put Carter alongside celebrated hitters like Bobby Thomson, whose immortal "Shot Heard ‘Round the World" won the 1951 National League pennant for the New York Giants.

On that same day the next year, the French sailor Isabelle Autissier set a record in the first phase of the famous BOC round-the-world yacht race: She made it to Cape Town from Charleston in 35 days, 8 hours and 52 minutes. The second-place yacht was 1,200 miles behind her. Later in the race, a huge wave overturned Autissier’s yacht when she was nearly 1,000 miles off the coast of Australia. She was stranded in the ocean for four days until an Australian Navy helicopter rescued her from the deck of her damaged ship.

Oxy-morons

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7 Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"
when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called

"after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13 Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17 If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21 Why do you press harder

on the buttons of a remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25 Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?
I dunno, why do we?


SCROLL DOWN


God Saw you hungry & created
McDonalds, Wendy's, and Dairy Queen.

He saw you thirsty & created
Pepsi, Juice, Coffee and Water.

GOD saw you in the dark & created Light .

GOD saw you without a Good looking ,
adorable, FRIEND.........
So He created ME!

Job at the FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.


After all the background checks, interviews
And testing were done, there were 3 finalists;
Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of
The men to a large metal door and handed
Him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your
Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting
In a chair ... . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could
Never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man
For this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was
Quiet for a bout 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,
But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't
Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the
Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one
After another. They heard screaming, crashing,
Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was
Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to
Beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them!

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS "Or the uncertainty of the English language"

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.

'Mr.. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully, ' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.

Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell..

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse..
'Oops!

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one ?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied.. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.

Dizzy Gillespie Biography

byname of John Birks Gillespie
( 1917 – 1993 )

Singles
1940 Pickin' the Cabbage
1947 Oop-Pop-A-Da
Salt Peanuts
Swing Low Sweet Cadillac
Umbrella Man
In The Land Of Ooo Blah Dee
Albums
1953 Jazz At Massey Hall
1955 One Night In Washington
1957 Greatest Trumpet Of Them All
1962 The New Continent
1963 Something Old, Something New
1963 Dizzy Gillespie et les Double Six
1968 Reunion Big Band
1974 Dizzy Gillespie's Big 4
1974 The Trumpet King Meets Joe Turner
1975 Afro-Cuban Jazz Moods
1975 Jazz Maturity
1975 Bahiana
1976 Dizzy's Party
1977 Free Ride
1980 Digital At Montreux
1981 Plays And Raps In His Greatest Concert
1982 To A Finland Station
1980s New Faces
1980s Closer To The Source
Compilations
Dizzy Gillespie: The Development Of An American Artist 1940-46
DeeGee (1951-2)
Compositions
1944 Woody'n'You
1945 Salt Peanuts
1947 Cubana Be, Cubana Bop
1947 Manteca
Birks Works
Con Alma
Kush
Tin Tin Deo
Autobiography
1979 To Be Or Not To Bop

Jazz trumpeter, composer. Born John Birks Gillespie on October 21, 1917 in Cheraw, South Carolina. He worked in prominent swing bands (1937–44), including those of Benny Carter and Charlie Barnet. As a bandleader, often with Charlie Parker on saxophone, he developed the music known as bebop, with dissonant harmonies and polyrhythms, a reaction to swing.

Gillespie's own big band (1946–50) was his masterpiece, affording him scope as both soloist and showman. He was immediately recognizable from the unusual shape of his trumpet, with the bell tilted upwards at an angle of 45° - the result of someone accidentally sitting on it in 1953, but to good effect, for when he played it afterwards he discovered that the new shape improved the sound quality, and he had it incorporated into all his trumpets thereafter.


Gillespie's memoirs To Be or Not to Bop (with Al Fraser) appeared in 1979. In 1990, he received the Kennedy Center Honors Award.

A LITTLE GIRL

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother
answered,"God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all
mankind made."


Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father
answered,
"Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, " Mom, how is it possible
that
you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed
from
monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you
about my
side of the family and your father told you about his."

1977 : Mr. October hits three homers in three swings

On October 18, 1977, in the sixth game of the World Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers, New York Yankees outfielder Reggie Jackson hits three home runs in a row off of three consecutive pitches from three different pitchers. Only the great Babe Ruth had ever hit three homers in a single World Series game (and he did it twice, once in 1926 and once in 1928) —but he didn’t do it on consecutive pitches or even consecutive at-bats. Jackson’s amazing home-run streak helped the Yankees win the game and the series, the team’s first since 1962.

During his pre-game batting practice, Jackson was unstoppable: He stepped to the plate and immediately knocked three pitches high into Yankee Stadium’s third-tier seats. Then he smacked the next one hard into the rear wall of the right-field bleachers. Jackson kept on pounding homers into the stands—so many that that backup catcher Fran Healy was reminded of the old baseball adage that the better you hit in batting practice, the worse you hit when it counts. As a result, Healy later recalled, "I thought to myself, ‘Boy, is he gonna have a horseshit game.’"

But he didn’t. In the second inning, Dodger pitcher Burt Hooten managed to palm Jackson off with a walk, but on his next at-bat, in the fourth, the slugger nailed Hooten’s first pitch low and hard into the right-field bleachers--"a line drive," Los Angeles Times reporter Jim Murray wrote, "that would have crossed state lines and gone through the side of a battleship on its way to the seats." In the fifth, with two out and two on, Jackson treated reliever Elias Sosa’s first pitch the same way. And in the eighth, he emerged from the dugout to a standing ovation, reached down for pitcher Charlie Hough’s diving knuckleball, and sent it flying 450 feet into the center-field bleachers. It was, Murray wrote, a "booming Jack Nicklaus-type tee shot, high and far, the kind that pitchers wake up screaming in the middle of the night over."

That last homer put the Yanks in the lead 8-3, and—in spite of the ubiquitous security guards and policemen in riot gear who lined the first- and third-base lines—the stadium was about to explode. It got so bad that Jackson had to come in from the outfield during the last inning and get a batting helmet to protect his head from the cherry bombs and firecrackers that the bleacher creatures were throwing onto the field. When the game ended, the field flooded with fans. They had a new hero: Reggie Jackson, now known as "Mr. October."

In his 21-year career, Jackson hit 563 home runs and retired as the all-time leader in Series slugging, with a .755 average. And no one ever achieved what he did in 1977: three home runs in three swings, and five homers in all in the series. Still, Jackson was uncharacteristically modest. "Babe Ruth was great," he said. "I’m just lucky."

Presidential Proclamation--White Cane Safety Day

By the President of the United States of America

A Proclamation

The white cane, in addition to being a practical mobility tool, serves as a symbol of dignity, freedom, and independence for individuals who are blind or visually impaired. On White Cane Safety Day, our Nation celebrates the immeasurable contributions the Americans who use canes have made as valued members of our diverse country. We also examine our progress and recommit to full integration, equality, education, and opportunity for Americans with visual impairments.

Today, students with disabilities are reaching achievements considered unattainable just a few decades ago. Many gains have been realized throughout our educational system, but we must accomplish more so that America's technological advances and assistive tools are available for the benefit of all students. My Administration is committed to ensuring that electronic readers and other electronic equipment used by schools, including postsecondary institutions, are accessible to individuals who are blind or visually impaired. We are also providing guidance and technical assistance to help colleges and universities fully comply with the legal requirements to use emerging technology that is accessible to all students in the classroom. Blindness and visual impairments are not impediments to obtaining knowledge, and we must highlight the availability of existing tools to facilitate communication and work to improve access to them. Additionally, the Braille code opens doors of literacy and learning to countless individuals with visual impairments across our country and around the world, and we must work with advocates and leaders throughout our society to promote and improve Braille literacy among our students.

Americans with disabilities are Americans first and foremost, entitled to both full participation in our society and full opportunity in our economy. My Administration is working to increase information access so Americans who are blind or visually impaired can fully participate in our increasingly interconnected world. To expand career options for people with disabilities in the Federal Government, I signed an Executive Order directing executive departments and agencies to design strategies to increase recruitment and hiring of these valued public servants. I was also pleased to sign the Twenty‑First Century Communications and Video Accessibility Act into law earlier this month to ensure that the jobs of the future are accessible to all. This legislation will make it easier for people who are deaf, blind, or live with a visual impairment to use the technology our 21st‑century economy depends on, from navigating digital menus on a television to sending emails on a smart phone.

As we observe the 20th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act this year, my Administration reaffirms our national commitment to creating access to employment, education, and social, political, and economic opportunities for Americans with disabilities. Together with individuals who are blind or visually impaired, service providers, educators, and employers, we will uphold our country as an inclusive, welcoming place for blind or visually impaired people to work, learn, play, and live.

By joint resolution approved on October 6, 1964 (Public Law 88‑628, as amended), the Congress designated October 15 of each year as White Cane Safety Day to recognize the contributions of Americans who are blind or have low vision.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim October 15, 2010, as White Cane Safety Day. I call upon all public officials, business and community leaders, educators, librarians, and Americans to observe this day with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and programs.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fifteenth day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fifth.

BARACK OBAMA

# # #





The White House · 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW · Washington DC 20500 · 202-456-1111

OCTOBER 17 1960 : R&B legends the Drifters earn a #1 pop hit with "Save the Last Dance For Me"

The Drifters top the U.S. pop charts on October 17, 1960, with "Save the Last Dance For Me."

While many famous pop groups saw changes in lineup over the course of their careers, none saw as many as the Drifters. From 1953 to 1956, the original lineup of the Drifters established themselves as R&B giants, scoring a #1 R&B hit with "Money Honey" (1953) and launching the solo career of the legendary Clyde McPhatter. When McPhatter left the group, he sold his 50-percent ownership stake in the Drifters' name and song copyrights to his sole partner, the group's manager, George Treadwell. And from that point forward, Treadwell ran the Drifters as a business in which the group's singers were paid a modest weekly salary but did not share in royalty earnings. This arrangement did little to encourage longevity among group members, but Treadwell's ear for talent kept the group relevant and successful for many years to come.

Following McPhatter's departure in 1956, Treadwell ran through six different lead singers in two years before firing the entire group in 1958 and starting over from scratch. Version 2.0 of the Drifters was a group centered around lead singer Benjamin Nelson and originally called the Five Crowns. With that group taking on the new name "the Drifters," and with Nelson changing his to Ben E. King, a new era of success for the group began. Placed in the hands of producer Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller by their label, Atlantic Records, these new Drifters scored immediate hits with "There Goes My Baby" (1959) and "This Magic Moment" (1960) followed by the song that topped the Billboard pop charts on this day in 1960, "Save The Last Dance For Me."

But this was not the last lineup of the Drifters to enjoy success. Following Ben. E. King's departure in 1960, group member Rudy Lewis took over lead singing duties on the hits "Up On The Roof" (1963) and "On Broadway" (1963), and following Lewis's death in 1964, Johnny Moore took over and scored yet another hit with "Under The Boardwalk" (1964).

Considering the group's track record, it was little wonder that voters for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame selected the Drifters for induction in 1988 alongside the Beatles, the Supremes, the Beach Boys and Bob Dylan. The thorny question was, "Which Drifters to induct?" From among more than 30 singers who had been Drifters up to that point in time, the Hall of Fame selected seven for induction, including all four of the aforementioned lead singers: Clyde McPhatter, Ben E. King, Rudy Lewis and Johnny Moore.

Barbara Billingsley, Beaver Cleaver's TV Mom Dies

LOS ANGELES – Barbara Billingsley, who gained supermom status for her gentle
portrayal of June Cleaver, the warm, supportive mother of a pair of
precocious boys in "Leave it to Beaver," died Saturday. She was 94.

Billingsley, who had suffered from a rheumatoid disease, died at her home in
Santa Monica, said family spokeswoman Judy Twersky.

When the show debuted in 1957, Jerry Mathers, who played Beaver, was 9, and
Tony Dow, who portrayed Wally, was 12. Billingsley's character, the perfect
stay-at-home 1950s mom, was always there to gently but firmly nurture both
through the ups and downs of childhood.

Beaver, meanwhile, was a typical American boy whose adventures landed him in
one comical crisis after another.

Billingsley's own two sons said she was pretty much the image of June
Cleaver in real life, although the actress disagreed. She did acknowledge
that she may have become more like June as the series progressed.

"I think what happens is that the writers start writing about you as well as
the character they created," she once said. "So you become sort of all mixed
up, I think."

A wholesome beauty with a lithe figure, Billingsley began acting in her
elementary school's plays and soon discovered she wanted to do nothing else.

Although her beauty and figure won her numerous roles in movies from the
mid-1940s to the mid-1950s, she failed to obtain star status until "Leave it
to Beaver," a show that she almost passed on.

"I was going to do another series with Buddy Ebsen for the same producers,
but somehow it didn't materialize," she told The Associated Press in 1994.
"A couple of months later I got a call to go to the studio to do this pilot
show. And it was `Beaver.'"

Decades later, she expressed surprise at the lasting affection people had
for the show.

"We knew we were making a good show, because it was so well written," she
said. "But we had no idea what was ahead. People still talk about it and
write letters, telling how much they watch it today with their children and
grandchildren."

After "Leave it to Beaver" left the air in 1963 Billingsley largely
disappeared from public view for several years.

She resurfaced in 1980 in a hilarious cameo in "Airplane!" playing a demur
elderly passenger not unlike June Cleaver.

When flight attendants were unable to communicate with a pair of
jive-talking hipsters, Billingsley's character volunteered to translate,
saying "I speak jive." The three then engage in a raucous street-slang
conversation.

"No chance they would have cast me for that if I hadn't been June Cleaver,"
she once said.

She returned as June Cleaver in a 1983 TV movie, "Still the Beaver," that
costarred Mathers and Dow and portrayed a much darker side of Beaver's life.

In his mid-30s, Beaver was unemployed, unable to communicate with his own
sons and going through a divorce. Wally, a successful lawyer, was handling
the divorce, and June was at a loss to help her son through the transition.

"Ward, what would you do?" she asked at the site of her husband's grave.
(Beaumont had died in 1982.)

The movie revived interest in the Cleaver family, and the Disney Channel
launched "The New Leave It to Beaver" in 1985.

The series took a more hopeful view of the Cleavers, with Beaver winning
custody of his two sons and all three moving in with June.

In 1997 Universal made a "Leave it to Beaver" theatrical film with a new
generation of actors. Billingsley returned for a cameo, however, as Aunt
Martha.

In later years she appeared from time to time in such TV series as "Murphy
Brown," "Empty Nest" and "Baby Boom" and had a memorable comic turn opposite
fellow TV moms June Lockhart of "Lassie" and Isabel Sanford of "The
Jeffersons" on the "Roseanne" show.

"Now some people, they just associate you with that one role (June Cleaver),
and it makes it hard to do other things," she once said. "But as far as I'm
concerned, it's been an honor."

In real life, fate was not as gentle to Billingsley as it had been to June
and her family.

Born Barbara Lillian Combes in Los Angeles on Dec. 22, 1922, she was raised
by her mother after her parents divorced. She and her first husband, Glenn
Billingsley, divorced when her sons were just 2 and 4.

Her second husband, director Roy Kellino, died of a heart attack after three
years of marriage and just months before she landed the "Leave it to Beaver"
role.

She married physician Bill Mortenson in 1959 and they remained wed until his
death in 1981.

Survivors include her sons, three stepchildren and numerous grandchildren.

OCTOBER 15 1930 : Duke Ellington records his first big hit, "Mood Indigo"

The legendary composer and bandleader Duke Ellington was so famous for his poise and charm that it should be no surprise that he had a pithy story at the ready whenever he was asked about one of his most famous and enduring works, "Mood Indigo." Of the song he and his orchestra recorded for the very first time on this day in 1930, Ellington was fond of saying, "Well, I wrote that in 15 minutes while I was waiting for my mother to finish cooking dinner." As neatly as that version fit with his well-tended reputation for effortless sophistication, the true account of the song's development reflects the gifts for collaboration and adaptation that were always critical elements of Ellington's genius.

The genesis of "Mood Indigo" was a visit to New York City in 1930 by a New Orleans jazzman named Lorenzo Tio, Jr. Duke Ellington's clarinetist, Barney Bigard, was a former student of Tio's, and on Tio's visit to New York, he shared with Bigard a number of melodies he'd written, including one called "Dreamy Blues" that had served as the theme song for his group back home, Armand Piron's New Orleans Orchestra. "I asked him if I could borrow it," Bigard later wrote in his autobiography. "I took it home and kept fooling around with it...and got something together that mostly was my own but partly Tio's." Bigard's variation on "Dreamy Blues" would soon become the clarinet solo on "Mood Indigo," thanks to Duke Ellington's penchant for involving his band members in his composition process.

Indeed, the lyricist Ervin Drake would later refer to Ellington's orchestra as a kind of "musical kibbutz"—an environment in which all ideas were welcomed and collaboration was the rule rather than the exception. Taking Bigard and Tio's melody and composing a song of his own on top of it, Ellington created "Mood Indigo." It wasn't the elegance of the composition alone, however, that made the song Ellington's first big hit. It was the completely unexpected voicing of the horns in Ellington's original arrangement of the song. The clarinet, trumpet and trombone were generally arranged, in that order, from highest pitch to lowest in jazz music. But Ellington turned the typical structure upside down on "Mood Indigo," using the clarinet near the bottom of its register and the muted trombone near the top of its—an arrangement that also produced interesting overtones with the electronic microphones of the day.

With lyrics added by Mitchell Parish in 1931 (but credited to Ellington's manager Irving Mills), "Mood Indigo" became a vocal-jazz standard as well as an instrumental one, recorded memorably by Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra and Nina Simone among many others.

WHAT A REAL WOMAN DOES

A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .

No wait... Sorry... I'm thinking of whiskey. That's what whiskey does... Never mind.

COMO COMIENZAN LAS PELEAS EN LOS MATRIMONIOS???

CUALQUIER SEMEJANZA CON LA VIDA REAL
ES MERA COINCIDENCIA.....

Mi mujer se sentó a mi lado en el sofá mientras yo pasaba de canal en canal.



Ella preguntó: "¿Qué hay en la tele?"

Yo respondí: "Un chingo de polvo"

-Y, entonces, la pelea comenzó....

============ ========= ========= =====

Cuando llegué a casa, ayer por la noche, mi mujer exigió que la llevara a un sitio caro.

Entonces la llevé a un super mercado.

-Y, entonces, la pelea comenzó...

============ ========= ========= ======

Mi mujer y yo estábamos sentados en la mesa de un restaurancito, yo me estaba fijando en una chica borracha que estaba sola en una mesa próxima, y que balanceaba su copa.

Mi mujer preguntó: "¿La conoces?"

"Sí," dije yo. "Ella es una antigua novia mía... Sé que empezó a beber después de separarnos, hace ya bastantes años y, por lo que sé, nunca más ha vuelto a estar sobria.

"¡Dios mío!", dijo mi mujer, "nunca pensé que alguien pudiese celebrar algo durante tanto tiempo?"

-Y, entonces, la riña comenzó...

============ ========= ========= ======

Después de jubilarme, fui hasta el ISSSTE para poder recibir la carta de jubilación.

La mujer que me atendió solicitó mi carnet de identidad para verificar mi edad.

Busqué por todos lo bolsillos y me di cuenta que lo había dejado olvidado en casa.

La funcionaria dijo que lo lamentaba pero que tendría que ir a buscarlo a casa y volver más tarde. Yo le dije: por favor ayudeme, vengo de una ciudad retirada. En eso, me dijo: "Desabotone su camisa"

Entonces desabotoné mi camisa, dejando expuestos mis vellos gruesos y plateados de la pechuga.

Ella me dijo: "Este vello plateado en su pecho es prueba suficiente para mi".

Y dió inicio a mi proceso de jubilación.

Cuando llegué a casa, conté a mi mujer, entusiasmado lo que me ocurrió.

Ella me dijo: "¡Vaya! ¿y por qué no te bajaste los pantalones y le enseñaste el pájaro?

Podrías haber conseguido una invalidez permanente también... "

-Y, entonces, la riña comenzó...

============ ========= ========= ======

La mujer está desnuda, mirándose en el espejo de la habitación.

No está feliz con lo que ve y dice al marido:

"Me siento horrible; parezco vieja, gorda y fea. Realmente necesito un elogio tuyo.”

El marido responde: "Bueno mi vida, de la vista estas perfecta!"

-Y, entonces, la riña comenzó...

============ ========= ========= ======

Llevé a mi mujer al restaurante. El camarero anotó primero mi pedido:

"Quiero un filete bien jugoso, por favor." El camarero pregunta:

"¿El Señor no está preocupado por la vaca loca ?"

"No, ella misma puede hacer su pedido." - respondi.

-Y, entonces, la riña comenzó...

============ ========= ========= ======

El marido vuelve del Médico y la mujer, toda preocupada, le pregunta:

"Y, entonces, que te dijo el Médico?"

De pronto, el respondió:

"A partir de hoy, no haremos más el amor; tengo prohibido consumir cosas grasas."

-Y, entonces, la riña comenzó...

============ ========= ========= ==========

La mujer de 47 años mira desnuda a su marido desde la puerta del baño y le pregunta:

"Tú crees que realmente represento la edad que tengo..."

El marido le contesta:

"Si miro tu cabello, te doy 29; si miro tus bubis te doy 32; si miro tus caderas, te doy 36; si miro tus piernas, te doy 30..."

Ella le contesta: "Gracias mi amor, ¿realmente piensas eso?

El marido le contesta:

"Espera un poquito que todavía no terminé de sumar..."

-Y, entonces, la riña comenzó...

============ ========= ========= =

Luego de haber tenido una discusión muy fuerte, la pareja iba en el coche sin hablarse.

Al pasar frente a un criadero de cerdos él le dice:

"No sabía que tenías parientes viviendo por acá"

Ella le contesta:

"Si, mis suegros..."

-Y entonces la riña comenzó......, nuevamente.

La risa es el mejor alivio del alma !!!!!! FELIZ DIA

Le dice la madre a la hija:
'Mija... dicen las vecinas que te estás acostando con tu novio!'
'Ay, mami, la gente es más chismosa....
Uno se acuesta con cualquiera y ya dicen que es el novio...'

------------------------------------------------------------
' ¡María, tu marido se va a tirar por la ventana!'
'¡Dile al tarado ese que le puse cuernos, no alas!'

-----------------------------------
'Carmen, ¿estás enferma?... Te lo pregunto porque he visto salir a un médico de tu casa esta mañana...'
- 'Mira, vieja, ayer por la mañana yo vi salir a un militar de la tuya y no por eso estás en guerra, ¿verdad?'
-----------------------------------


- Dígame. ¿Cuál es el motivo por el quiere divorciarse de su esposo?
- Mi marido me trata como si fuera un perro.
- ¿La maltrata, le pega?
- No, Quiere que le sea fiel....
---------------------------------------------

Un ladrón le grita a otro, en medio de un asalto:
- ¡Viene la policía!
- ¿Y ahora qué hacemos?
- ¡Saltemos por la ventana!
- ¡Pero si estamos en el piso 13!
- ¡Este no es momento para supersticiones!

---------------------------------------------
En una fiesta se acerca un mesero a ofrecerle más whisky a una muchacha:
- Madame, ¿gusta otra copa?
- No, gracias, me hace daño para las piernas.
- ¿Se le adormecen?
- No, se me abren!

--------------------------------------------------------
Una joven rebelde muy liberada, entra en un bar completamente desnuda. Se para frente al cantinero y le dice:
- Deme una cerveza bien helada!
El cantinero se queda mirándola sin moverse.
- ¿Qué pasa? -dice ella- Nunca ha visto a una mujer desnuda???
- ¡Muchas veces!
¿¿¿Y entonces qué mira???
¡Quiero ver de dónde va a sacar el dinero para pagar la cerveza!

--------------------------------------------------------
Un pasajero le toca el hombro al taxista para hacerle una pregunta.
El taxista grita, pierde el control del coche, casi choca con un camión, se sube a la acera y se mete en un escaparate haciendo pedazos los vidrios.
Por un momento no se oye nada en el taxi, hasta que el taxista dice:
- 'Mire amigo, jamás haga eso otra vez! Casi me mata del susto!'
El pasajero le pide disculpas y le dice:
- 'No pensé que se fuera a asustar tanto si le tocaba el hombro'
El taxista le dice:
- 'Lo que pasa es que es mi primer día de trabajo como taxista'
- ¿Y qué hacía antes?
- Fui chofer de carroza funeraria durante 25 años'

--------------------------------------------------------
Se encuentran dos chinos:
- 'El otlo día me comple un coche.'
- 'Ah si?'
- 'Si, mila, es ese de ahí.'
- 'Y que malca es?'
- 'Un Alfa'
- '¿Lomeo?'
- 'Lo meas y te lompo el alma, pol cochino'

--------------------------------------------------------
el novio le dice a la novia en su Noche de Boda: MI AMOR, PERO TU NO ERES VIRGEN !!
y ella responde: NI TU ERES SAN JOSÉ, NI VINIMOS A ARMAR UN PESEBRE, ¿Cierto guevonn?..

-------------------------------------------------------
Prohibido quedarse con los chistes, otros también querrán reír.
Si tu no te reíste, es tiempo que visites a un psicólogo!

adios abuelo

Un acto de fe si señor!!!!!!

Una noche un padre escucha mientras su hijo reza:
Dios bendiga a Mami, a Papi y a la Abuela.
'Adiós Abuelo'
Al padre le parece extraño, pero pronto se olvida.
Al día siguiente el Abuelo muere.
Casi tres meses más tarde el padre escucha mientras su hijo reza de
noche:
Dios bendiga a Mami y a Papi.
'Adiós Abuela'.
Al día siguiente la Abuela muere.

Ahora el padre se encuentra hondamente preocupado, cuando dos semanas más tarde escucha de nuevo al hijo mientras reza de noche:
Dios bendiga a Mamá.
'Adiós Papá'.
Al padre casi le da un ataque por lo que escucha.
No lo comenta con nadie pero al día siguiente se levanta bien temprano a su trabajo para no tener problemas de tráfico.
Se queda todo el día trabajando, cena en el trabajo y vuelve a su casa
recién pasada la medianoche y
¡sigue vivo!
Cuando llega, lo primero que hace es disculparse con su mujer:
'Perdóname cariño,
¡tuve un día terrible!'.
'¿Qué tú tuviste un día terrible?',
le dice su esposa,

'¡¡¡ HOY EL LECHERO SE MURIÓ
EN LA PUERTA DE LA CASA !!!'.

Ya lo dijo el filósofo:
LA PATERNIDAD ES UN ACTO DE FE.
LA MATERNIDAD UNA CERTEZA!

QUE HACER CON EL CORREO BASURA. cadenas y demá

La persona que mandó esta información es un técnico de computadoras que

gasta mucho tiempo borrando los correos no deseados de sus clientes y que

escucha sus quejas por la baja velocidad de sus computadoras.. No todos los

correos reenviados son malos, sólo algunos. Le sugiero que lea todo este

correo, hasta el último párrafo.

_________________________________________


Lo que escribió:



1) Siempre que lea "envíe este correo a 'diez' (o cualquier otro número)

personas", "firme esta petición", "va a tener mala suerte", "va a tener

buena suerte" o "algo chistoso aparecerá en la pantalla después de que lo

envíe" puede usted suponer que ese correo tiene una cookie que va a rastrear

tanto su correo como el correo de las personas a las que se los mande. El

autor original del correo está recibiendo una copia cada vez que el correo

se reenvía. Estas copias le permiten compilar una lista de "correos activos"

para mandarles correo chatarra ellos mismos o para vender esas listas a los

que mandan el correo chatarra. Cuidado con los mensajes que dicen que los

reenvíe si no le avergüenza tener fe en Dios, Jesús etc. son correos

rastreadores, y están chantajeando su conciencia. A esas personas no les

importa cómo obtienen su dirección de correo electrónico, siempre y cuando

la obtengan. También los correos que hablan de niños perdidos o de un niño

con una enfermedad incurable "qué sentiría si fuera su hijo" son

rastreadores de correo. ¡Ignórelos y no les siga el juego!

2) Casi todos los correos que le piden que agregue su nombre y lo reenvíe a

sus contactos son similares a aquéllas cartas de hace años en las que se

pedía que enviara tarjetas de presentación a una niñita en Florida que

quería romper el Record Guinness por haber recibido la mayor cantidad de

tarjetas. Este engaño, como casi todos los correos de este tipo, es una

forma de los tele mercantes de obtener y validar direcciones de correo para

su beneficio personal.

Puede hacerles un GRAN favor a sus familiares y amigos si les envía esta

información. Les estaría haciendo un verdadero servicio. ¡Su recompensa será

que no recibirán, ni usted ni ellos, correo chatarra en el futuro!

Ayúdese a usted mismo y EVITE agregar su nombre(s) a estos tipos de lista,

independientemente de cuán atractivas puedan parecer, o de que le traten de

hacer sentir culpable si no se agrega. Sólo se trata de obtener su dirección

de correo electrónico.

Usted puede creer que está apoyando a una buena causa. !Esto no es cierto!

Lo único que está haciendo es conseguir toneladas de correo chatarra y tal

vez hasta un virus. Además, está ayudando a los que envían el correo a

volverse ricos. No les haga más fácil su trabajo.

ADEMÁS: Las peticiones por correo electrónico NO son aceptadas por el

Congreso ni por ninguna otra entidad del gobierno, como el Seguro Social,

etc. Para que una petición sea aceptable tienen que tener una firma

autógrafa y la dirección completa de la persona que la firma, así que esto

sólo es una pérdida de tiempo y sólo está ayudando a los que

rastrean el correo electrónico.



Tips para tratar a los Telemercadólogos( o sea los que llaman para ofrecer alguna oferta por teléfono)

¡¡Tres palabritas que funcionan!!

(1)Las tres palabritas son: 'Espéreme por favor...'

Si dice esto y luego deja el teléfono descolgado (en vez de colgar

inmediatamente), cada llamada de tele mercadeo va ser tan larga que los

vendedores van a tener que buscar otro método de ventas.

Un rato después, cuando oiga en su bocina el 'bip-bip-bip', sabrá que es

momento de ir a colgar el teléfono, y que su misión se cumplió.

Estas tres palabritas ayudarán a eliminar las llamadas indeseadas.

(2) ¿Alguna vez ha recibido una de esas odiosas llamadas mudas? En estos

casos una máquina hace la llamada y graba la hora a la que la persona

contesta el teléfono.

Esta técnica se usa para determinar la mejor hora del día para que un

vendedor 'humano' llame y que alguien le conteste.

¿Qué puede hacer después de contestar, si se da cuenta que es una llamada

muda? Oprima el botón # de su teléfono 6 ó 7 veces lo más rápido posible.

Esto confundirá a la máquina que marcó su número y lo borrará de su sistema.

Chispas, ¡qué pena que ya no estará usted en sus listas!

(3) Ayuda con el correo chatarra:

Cuando reciba "anuncios" con su cuenta del teléfono o cualquier otra cuenta,

regrese estos "anuncios" a la hora de hacer su pago. Haga que las compañías

que le mandan basura sean las que la tiren.

Cuando reciba esas tarjetas de crédito'pre-aprobadas', no tire el sobre de respuesta.

La mayoría traen sobres de respuesta que no requieren estampillas. Les cuestan

más que el correo regular a las empresas que los mandan. Si los tira a la

basura no les costaría nada. ¡Hágalos que paguen el correo! Incluso, llene

los sobres con otro correo basura y mándeselos de regreso, así pagarán más

por cada sobre.



Si quiere permanecer anónimo, tenga cuidado de que su nombre no aparezca en

ninguna de la propaganda que les envíe.

Incluso puede mandarles el sobre vacío, para mantenerlos con la duda de

quién lo mandó. Ellos tendrán que pagar el costo del correo de todas formas.

Los bancos y las tarjetas de crédito están recibiendo mucha de su basura de

regreso, pero necesitamos INUNDARLOS. Que reciban una dosis de su propio remedio y que sientan lo que es recibir el correo chatarra. ¡Con la

ventaja adicional de que ellos son los que la pagan doble!

Ayudemos al correo mantenerse ocupados, porque dicen que el

correo electrónico les está quitando el negocio. ¿No es una buena

idea?

Esto sólo funcionará si mucha gente sigue estos consejos. Hace mucho tiempo

que yo lo hago y cada año recibo menos correo chatarra.

¡¡ESTE ES EL ÚNICO E-MAIL QUE DEBERÍA ENVIAR A SUS AMIGOS

PERO MÁNDELO POR CCO, Y BORRE LOS REMITENTES,SIEMPRE!!

1957 : "Wake Up Little Susie" becomes the Everly Brothers' first #1 hit!

Harmony singing was a part of rock and roll right from the beginning, but the three- and four-part harmonies of doo-wop, derived from black gospel and blues traditions, would never have given us Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles or the Byrds. To get those groups, you first had to have the Everly Brothers, whose ringing, close-harmony style introduced a whole new sound into the rock-and-roll vocabulary: the sound of Appalachia set to hard-driving acoustic guitars and a subtle backbeat rhythm. One of the most important and influential groups in the history of rock and roll, the Everly Brothers burst onto the music scene in 1957 with their first big hit, "Bye Bye Love," which was quickly followed with their first #1 song, "Wake Up Little Susie," which topped the Billboard pop chart on this day in 1957.

Don and Phil Everly began performing together professionally in 1945 at the ages of eight and six, respectively, on their family's live radio show out of Shenandoah, Iowa. The Everly family resettled to Knoxville, Tennesee, in 1953, and two years later, 18-year-old Don and 16-year-old Phil began pursuing work as songwriters in Nashville. As a songwriting duo, they had very little success, and in their first try at making a record of their own, they couldn't even crack the lowest level of the Country & Western chart. A move to Cadence Records in 1957, however, changed the course of the Everly Brothers' career, bringing them into partnership with a production team that included legendary session man Chet Atkins and the songwriting team of Felice and Boudreaux Bryant.

"Bye Bye Love" was the first song by the Bryants to be recorded by the Everlys, establishing their trademark sound and peaking at #2 on the charts in the summer of 1957. The follow-up single, "Wake Up Little Susie," reached the top spot on October 14, 1957, though not without stirring controversy in some parts due to lyrics that hinted at teenage sex. Literally banned in Boston at one point, the Everlys' first chart-topper was taken at face value in most parts of the country as an insanely catchy song about two teenagers who have innocently fallen asleep at a movie only to awaken at 4:00 AM in fear of having ruined their good reputations.

The Everly Brothers would earn 25 top-40 hits over the first five years of their hugely influential recording career, including two more #1s: "All I Have To Do Is Dream" (1958) and "Cathy's Clown" (1960).

Colón era soltero!

A ver, repetí conmigo:

¡¡¡SOOOL - TEEE - ROOOOO!!!

Cristóbal Colón pudo descubrir América sólo porque ¡¡ERA SOLTERO!!

Si Cristóbal Colón hubiese tenido una esposa, habría tenido que oir:

- ¿Y por qué tenes que ir vos?

- ¿Y por qué no mandan a otro?

- ¡Todo lo ves redondo! ¿Estas loco o sos idiota?

- ¡No conoces ni a mi familia y vas a descubrir el nuevo mundo!

- ¿Y sólo van a viajar hombres? ¿crees q soy pelotuda?

- ¿Y por qué no puedo ir yo si vos sos el jefe?

- ¡Desgraciado, ya no sabes qué inventar para estar fuera de casa!

- ¡Si cruzas esa puerta yo me voy con mi vieja! ¡Sinvergüenza!

- ¿Y quién es esa tal María? ¿Qué Pinta? ¡Y la hija de puta se hace la Santa!!!

- ¿Y decís que es una Niña?... ¡andate a la mierrrrdaaa!

- ¡Todo lo tenías planeado, maldito! Vas a encontrarte con unas indias putitas....táquetepáaaaaarió!!!!

- ¿A mí me vas engañar?

- ¿Qué la Reina Isabel va a vender sus joyas para que vos viajes? ¿Me crees boluda o qué? ¿Qué tenes con esa vieja hija de puta, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh??????

- ¡No vas a ningún lado!

- No va a pasar nada si el mundo sigue plano. Así que no te vistas que ¡¡¡no vas!!!

Definitivamente: ERA SOLTERO.

LA HORA CORRECTA PARA TOMAR AGUA

MAS INFORMACIÓN SOBRE LOS BENEFICIOS DEL AGUA
¡Mi cardiólogo me lo confirmó!

¿Sabías que…
… tomar agua en la hora correcta maximiza su efectividad en el cuerpo humano?


2 vasos de agua después de despertar ayuda a activar los órganos internos.
1 vaso de agua 30 minutos antes de comer ayuda a la digestión.
1 vaso de agua antes de bañarse ayuda a bajar la presión sanguínea.
1 vaso de agua antes de irse a dormir evita apoplejías o ataques al corazón.

Por favor, pasa este mensaje a las personas que estimas.

EL SEÑOR DE LOS RONQUIDOS

Llega un tipo una noche a un hotel y pide

una habitación.
El encargado le dice que solo tiene una cama, en un cuarto compartido,
pero que nadie la quiere, porque el otro huésped ronca muy fuerte.
El fulano, por estar demasiado cansado le responde que no hay problema
y decide compartir la habitación...

A la mañana siguiente, el encargado pregunta si durmió bien.
- Perfectamente, como angelito, muchas gracias!,
el que no durmio fue el señor de los ronquidos- 
Y que paso con el señor de Los ronquidos?

- Apenas entré en la habitación le di un besito en la mejilla
y una agarradita de nalga; y le dije
"HOY EN CUANTO TE DUERMAS, ESE CULITO VA A SER MIO"
y después de eso, el se pasó toda la noche con Los ojos abiertos
y con el culo pegado a la pared!!!!

MORALEJA? No hay grandes problemas ...
Sino grandes soluciones!

important information

Bed bugs are an epidemic . . .

A bit of information that you might like to know about. An entomologist (insect expert), and has been telling that there is an epidemic of bed bugs now occuring in America. Recently news that several sotres in NYC have had to close due to bed bug problems, as well as a complete mall in New Jersey.

He says that since much of our clothing, sheets, towels, etc. now comes from companies outside of America, (sad but true), even the most expensive stores sell foreign clothing from China, Indonesia, etc. The bed bugs are coming in on the clothing as these countries do not consider them a problem. He recommends that if you buy any new clothing, even underware and socks, sheets, towels, etc. that you bring them into the house and put them in your clothes dryer for at least 20 minutes. The heat will kill them and their eggs. DO NOT PURCHASE CLOTHES AND HANG THEM IN THE CLOSET FIRST. It does not matter what the price range is of the clothing, or if the outfit comes from the most expensive store known in the U.S. They still get shipments from these countries and the bugs can come in a box of scarves or anything else for that matter. That is the reason why so many stores, many of them clothing stores have had to shut down in NYC and other places. All you need is to bring one item into the house that has bugs or eggs and you will go to hell and back trying to get rid of them. He travels all over the country as an advisor to many of these stores, as prevention and after they have the problem.

Send this information on to those on your e-mail list so that this good prevention information gets around quickly.

2003 : Martinez-Zimmer scuffle interrupts ALCS

On October 11, 2003, a bench-clearing brawl between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees interrupts the third game of the American League playoffs in Boston. During the fight, 73-year-old Yankee bench coach Don Zimmer charged out of the dugout and tried to tackle Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez, but Martinez dodged the older man’s blows and threw him to the ground. The next day, Martinez tried to apologize to the injured Zimmer, but the coach demurred. "I was the guy who charged him and threw the punch," he wrote in his memoirs. "To the people who said Pedro beat up an old man I said, ‘No, an old man was dumb enough to try and beat up on Pedro.’"

The Yanks and the Sox were bitter rivals, and tempers flared almost every time they met. Still, nothing prepared spectators for the bizarre melee that erupted in the fourth inning of that championship game. It began after Yankee slugger Hideki Matsui hit an RBI double that put his team up 3-2. The next batter up was outfielder Karim Garcia. Martinez threw a hard pitch behind Garcia’s head that clipped him between his shoulder blades. The ump ruled that Garcia had been beaned, gave him a base and issued a stern warning to both teams.

When the game resumed, Garcia headed for second. He slid hard and late, passing the bag and smacking into Red Sox second baseman Todd Walker. The two players began to scuffle, and the benches cleared—but for the moment, the ump managed to avert a brawl.

As Roger Clemens headed for the mound at the bottom of the inning, the ump warned him again: no inside pitches. Still, Clemens’ first pitch to Manny Ramirez zoomed up and in, right toward the batter’s head. Ramirez considered for a moment, then charged the mound with his bat in the air. The dugouts emptied again, and Zimmer, who had long been irritated by Martinez’s provocative behavior, saw his chance. "I said to myself, ‘Where’s Pedro?’" he remembered. "This is my one shot to take a swipe at him." And he did. Martinez saw him coming and raised his hands to deflect the blow; Zimmer was knocked to the ground.

The umps managed to get everyone calmed down and returned to their respective dugouts, but tensions were high. Fearing that the crowd would join the riot, Fenway vendors stopped selling beer. But that didn’t prevent the Bombers’ reliever Jeff Nelson from starting a fight with groundskeeper Paul Williams in the visitors’ bullpen—Williams had been rooting for the Sox, Nelson said—and sending him to the hospital with cleat-shaped bruises on his arms and back.

In the end, the league meted out fines all around: $50,000 to Martinez, $25,000 to Ramirez, $10,000 to Garcia and $5,000 to Zimmer. The Yankees won the game and the pennant, but they lost the World Series to the Marlins in six games.

Why i fired my secretary

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that
morning.



I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.



As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy
Birthday."



I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.



My kids came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the
office, I felt pretty low and some what despondent.



As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss,
Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had
remembered.



I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You
know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go
out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest
thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"



We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined
instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane
said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go back to
the office, do we?"


I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go
to my apartment."



After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you
don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right
back."



"Ok." I nervously replied.



She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of
my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".



And I just sat there...



On the couch...



Naked.

YOUR WELLNESS NEWS

Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does !!!
Savasana
Position of total relaxation.


Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.


Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.


Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column.


Halasana
Excellent for back pain and insomnia.


Dolphin
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.


Salambhasana
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.


Ananda Balasana
This position is great for massaging the hip area.


Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles.

Pigeon
Tones the body, and builds flexibility and helps get rid of 'stress'.
So in the interest of healthy relaxation ... let's start drinking !!















Life really boils down
to 2 questions...

1. Should I get a dog.....?










OR...

2. Should I have children?








Just to let you know
I'm thinking of you today.

No matter what situations life throws at you.....

No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..

Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.



You're laughing aren't you?
That's good 'cause my job here is done!

Have a great day and remember to give thanks......


Cats are so dramatic!




Now that I made you smile,
pass it on to someone else
who needs a laugh today!

2004 : Superman Christopher Reeve dies at age 52

OCTOBER 10 In 2004, the actor Christopher Reeve, who became famous for his starring role in four Superman films, dies from heart failure at the age of 52 at a hospital near his home in Westchester County, New York. Reeve, who was paralyzed in a 1995 horse-riding accident, was a leading advocate for spinal cord research.

Christopher Reeve was born on September 25, 1952, in New York City, and graduated from Cornell University and the Juilliard School. He made his Broadway debut in 1976 in A Matter of Gravity, starring Katharine Hepburn. The 6’4” actor shot to fame in 1978 when he was selected over some 200 other actors for the lead in Superman. Although he would play the action hero in three more films, Reeve was determined to “escape the cape” and avoid being typecast. As a result, he took on a variety of stage and screen roles. His film credits included Somewhere in Time (1980), Deathtrap (1983), The Remains of the Day (1993) and Village of the Damned (1995).

On May 27, 1995, Reeve, a strong athlete and avid horseman, was left paralyzed from the neck down after being thrown from his horse and breaking his neck during an equestrian competition in Virginia. The actor then became a crusader for people with spinal cord injuries and also lobbied for government funding of embryonic stem-cell research. During a speech at the 1996 Academy Awards, Reeve urged the Hollywood community to make more movies about social issues. In addition to his fundraising and advocacy work, Reeve wrote two books about his life experiences and continued his acting career. In 1997, he made his directorial debut with HBO’s In the Gloaming, which was nominated for five Emmy Awards, and in 1999, he starred in a remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller Rear Window. In 2004, Reeve directed A&E’s The Brooke Ellison Story, a movie based on a true story about the first quadriplegic to graduate from Harvard University.

In 2000, Reeve, who maintained an intensive physical therapy regime since the time of his accident, was able to move his index finger. He stated publicly that he was determined to walk again. In Reeve’s New York Times obituary, one of the doctors who treated him said: “Before [Reeve] there was really no hope. If you had a spinal cord injury like his there was not much that could be done, but he’s changed all that, he’s demonstrated that there is hope and that there are things that can be done.

1957 : Braves beat the Yanks to win World Series

On October 10, 1957, the Milwaukee Braves defeat the New York Yankees to win their first World Series since 1914. (They played in Boston then; the team moved to Wisconsin in 1953.) No one expected the Braves to beat the Bombers: After all, the New York team had already won the championship 21 times. Their manager, Casey Stengel, was the winningest in postseason history, and their lineup was spangled with superstars like Yogi Berra and Mickey Mantle. But the Braves had outfielder Hank Aaron, who’d hit 44 home runs and batted .322 that season, and a pitching staff that included the greats Bob Buhl, Warren Spahn and Lew Burdette.

The series began in New York, where Yankee Whitey Ford pitched a five-hitter and beat the Braves 3-1. The next day, Burdette pitched a seven-hitter and won 4-2. For Game 3, the series moved to Milwaukee--an unlucky change of venue for the Braves, who watched Yankee rookie and hometown hero Tony Kubek knock two homers into the stands. The Bombers won 12-3. The Braves eked out a nerve-wracking victory the next day, when Warren Spahn blew a 4-1 lead in the ninth on a three-run Elston Howard homer. In the next inning, the Yanks--who had been just one out away from a loss--pulled ahead. But then Braves pinch-hitter Nippy Jones got hit in the foot with a pitch (ump Augie Donatello had called it a ball, but gave Jones his base when the hitter pointed out a fresh smudge of shoe polish on the baseball). Pinch-runner Felix Mantilla scored on a Johnny Logan double, tying the game, and Eddie Mathews hit a game-ending homer over the right-field fence for a 7-5 Braves victory.

Burdette and the Braves won Game 5 1-0, and the Yanks won the sixth 3-2. Because Spahn had the flu, Burdette pitched the seventh on two days’ rest, and the Braves won the game and the championship on his second shutout of the Series. (Yankee pitcher Don Larsen, who had pitched a perfect game in the World Series the previous year, didn’t even make it through the third inning.)

Burdette, the championship’s MVP, was the first pitcher since 1920 to win three complete-game victories in a World Series. (That year, Stan Covaleski did it for the Dodgers.) Throughout his career, people said that Burdette was so good because he threw illegal spitballs--he fidgeted and touched his hat and face so much on the mound that, his manager said, he could "make coffee nervous"--but no one could ever prove it. Burdette died in February 2007.

Tickle me elmo

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes
>> the Tickle Me Elmo
>> toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the
>> arms.
>> Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and
>> she reports for her
>> first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
>> The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the
>> Personnel Manager's door.
>> The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant
>> about the new employee.
>> He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole
>> line is backing up,
>> putting the entire production line behind schedule.
>> The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for
>> himself, so the 2 men
>> march down to the factory floor.
>> When they get there the line is so backed up that
>> there are Tickle Me
>> Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really
>> beginning to pile up.
>> At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by
>> mountains of Tickle Me
>> Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge
>> bag of small marbles.
>> The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little
>> piece of fabric, wraps it
>> around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
>> little package between
>> Elmo's legs.
>> The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
>> After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself
>> together and approaches
>> Lena.
>> "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a
>> straight face, "but I
>> think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
>> yesterday..."
>> "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

$20.00

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by

holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,

"Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you

but first, let me do this.

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground

and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it

because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives,

we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt

by the decisions we make and

the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or

what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,

you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,

but by WHO WE ARE and WHOSE WE ARE.

You are special- Don't EVER forget it."


Count your blessings, not your problems.

"And remember: amateurs built the ark ..

professionals built the Titanic.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Pharmacology

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

How to tell the sex of a fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded
"Oh? Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
.Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"

"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone."

A letter to Tide

Dear Tide Company:
>> I am writing
>> to say what an excellent product you have!
>> I've used Tide throughout my married life; my Mom always told
>> me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find
>> it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled
>> some red wineon my new white blouse. My inconsiderate
>> and uncaring husband started to berate me about how
>> clumsy I was. One thing led to another, and somehow I
>> ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I
>> tried to get the stain& out using a bargain detergent,
>> but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to
>> the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide
>> with bleach alternative; and to my surprise and satisfaction,
>> all of the stains came out! In fact, the
>> stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me
that
>> the DNA tests on my blouse were
>> negative, and then my attorney called and said that I would
>> no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance
>> of my husband. What a relief! Going through
>> menopause is bad enough without being a murder
>> suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a
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1934 : The Gashouse Gang wins the World Series

On October 9, 1934, the St. Louis Cardinals defeat the Detroit Tigers in the seventh game of the World Series. No one seems to know exactly who was the first to call that year’s Cards the "Gashouse Gang," but everyone agrees that the nickname had to do with the team’s close resemblance to the rowdy, dirt-streaked assemblage of thugs who hung around the Gashouse District on Manhattan’s East Side. In any case, the matchup between St. Louis’ disheveled, brawl-prone Gang and the ace Tigers remains, as legendary sportswriter Grantland Rice predicted it would, "one of the most interesting post-season championships ever played."

In 1919, St. Louis’ general manager Branch Rickey (a teetotalling Methodist who refused to watch his own team play on the Sabbath) decided to build a team on the cheap. Instead of paying $100,000 or more for already-established players, he decided to train them himself, building an elaborate farm system that would send top-notch kids to the big leagues once he’d gotten them good and ready to play there.

By 1934, Rickey’s system had begun to pay off. His team had flashes of brilliance: Pitcher Dizzy Dean, a hillbilly from the Ozarks, won 30 games that year, the last time any pitcher won 30 in a season until Denny McLain won 31 in 1968. Dean’s brother Paul ("Daffy") won 19. (The rest of the team’s pitchers, combined, won 46. As a result, the brothers Dean went on an unsuccessful weeklong strike at the end of the summer to protest their inadequate paychecks.) Rickey’s scrappy, short-tempered bunch of country boys won 20 of their last 25 regular-season games, and they took the league pennant from the Giants--who’d squandered a seven-game lead going into September--at the last minute.

And so it was that Rickey’s Gashouse Gang faced the Tigers in a riveting seven-game Series. Thanks mostly to some remarkably inept play from Detroit’s usually stellar infield, the Cardinals won the first game 8-3. The Tigers took the second in 12 innings. In the third, Daffy Dean made everybody nervous by stranding 13 men on base, but his team triumphed 4-1. In Game 4, Dizzy Dean’s own shortstop beaned him in the head so hard that, according to the papers, the throw bounced 30 feet in the air and 100 feet down the right-field line. Detroit won the game. The Series was tied. The Tigers took the next game and St. Louis the one after that.

In the seventh, at Detroit, the Cards were winning handily. But all the Series’ pent-up tension came pouring out in the sixth inning when the pugnacious Ducky Medwick slid into the Tigers’ third baseman with his spikes up and then kicked him in the crotch, hard. When Medwick took his position in the outfield in the next inning, angry Detroiters pelted him with hot dogs, soda bottles, seat cushions and just about everything else they could find. He left the field three times; each time he returned, the barrage continued. Finally, to calm everyone down and bring the game to an end already, the baseball commissioner himself threw Medwick out of the stadium. The Cards protested, but it didn’t matter anyway: They won the game 11-0, and with it the World Series.

Scooby dooby doobies

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny
breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your
chest

and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew
terrific

D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a
panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the
little
rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her
eyes

and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of
Dr. Smith's?" "Why, yes I am... How did you know?" He leaned closer,
winked

and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock."