pet monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders
a drink and while he's
drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The
monkey grabs some olives
off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced
limes and eats them.
He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of
the billiard balls. To
everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and
somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what
your monkey just did ?


"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he
eats everything in sight
the little bum. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and
stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey
ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him.

He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around
the bar again.


While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds
a maraschino cherry on
the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it
out, and eats it. Then the monkey
finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls
it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?"

"No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up
his butt, pulled it out
and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in
sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
measures everything first."