Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

----------
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Makes no sense

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!



If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Why did you just try singing the two songs above?



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out window?

British Foods Converted To American

1. Aubergine is an Eggplant

2. Bangers is Sausage

3. Beetroot is beet

4. Bilberry/Wishberry is BlueBerry

5. Biscuit is Cookie

6. Broad Bean is Favabean

7. Caster Sugar is Superfine Gramulated

8. Chips is French Fries

9. Cling Film is Plastic Wrap

10. Corn Flour is Corn Starch

11. CornishPasty is Meat turnover

12. Courgette is zucchini

13. Double Cream is Heavy Cream

14. Potato Crisps is Potato Chips

15. Dripping is Fat From Rosted Pork, Beef Or Lamb

16. Finny Haddock is Smoked Haddock

17. Fish Slice is Spatula

18. Maize Flour is CornMeal

19. Strong Bread Flour is Hard Wheat Flour

20. ForceMeat is SausageMeat

21. French Bean is Green Bean

22. Gammon is Ham

23. Golden Syrup is Substitute Light Corn Syrup

24. Peanut is Groundnut

25. Pork Shoulder is Hand Of Pork

26. Heaped Spoonful is Heaping Spoonful

27. Icing Sugar is Confectioners' Sugar

28. joint of meat is Large cut of meat with or without bone

29. Marrow is a zucchini like squash

30. Minced Meat is Ground Meat

31. Offal is Various Kinds of internal Organs, E.G. Liver, heart, Kidney

32. Pie Dish is Deep Bakeing Dish

33. Pigs Trotter is Pigs Foot

34. Pine Kernels is Pine Nuts

35. Pips is Seeds

36. Pudding is Dessert

37. Brown Ale is Dark Beer

38. SilverSide is Beef Cut From The Rump

39. Stoned / Pitted is Seeded

40. Sultanas is Golden Raisins

41. Black Treacle is Molasses

42. Tunny Fish is Tuna Fish

43. Single Cream is Light Cream

44. Whipping Cream is Half And Half Cream

45. Self Rising Flour is Flour With Added Bakeing Powder

46. Plain Flour is All Purpose Flour

47. Lard is Commercially Made From Pig Fat

48. Fruit Jam is Jelly

49. Fruit Flavour Jelly is Jello

50 gurkins is pickles

A Fun Fact for Each State

ALABAMA ... Was the
first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968.
ALASKA ... One out of
every 64 people has a pilot's license.

ARIZONA ... Is the
only state in the continental U.S. that
doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.

ARKANSAS ... Has the
only active diamond mine in the U.S.

CALIFORNIA ... Its
economy is so large that if it were a
country, it would rank seventh
in the entire world.
COLORADO ... In 1976
it became the only state to
turn down the Olympics.

CONNECTICUT ... The
Frisbee was invented
here at Yale University.

DELAWARE ... Has more
scientists and engineers
than any other state.
FLORIDA ... At 759
square miles, Jacksonville is
the U.S. 's largest city.

GEORGIA ... It was
here, in 1886, that pharmacist
John Pemberton made the
first vat of Coca-Cola.

HAWAII .. Hawaiians
live, on average, five years longer
than residents in any other state.

IDAHO ... TV was
invented in Rigby , Idaho , in 1922.

ILLINOIS ... The
Chicago River is dyed green every St.Patrick's
Day
INDIANA .... Home to
Santa Claus , Indiana ,
which get a half
million letters to Santa every year.

IOWA ... Winnebagos
get their name from Winnebago County .
Also, it is the only
state that begins with two vowels.

KANSAS ... Liberal,
Kansas , has an exact replica of
the house in The Wizard
of Oz.
KENTUCKY ... Has more
than $6 billion in gold
underneath Fort Knox.

LOUISIANA ... Has
parishes instead of counties
because they were
originally Spanish church units.

MAINE ... It's so
big, it covers as many square miles
as the other five New
England states combined.

MARYLAND ... The
Ouija board was created in Baltimore in
1892.

MASSACHUSETTS ... The
Fig Newton is named after
Newton , Massachusetts .

MICHIGAN ... Fremont ,
home to Gerber, is the
baby food capital of
the world.

MINNESOTA ...
Bloomington 's Mall of America is so big, if
you spent 10 minutes in
each store, you'd be there nearly four
days.

MISSISSIPPI ...
President Teddy Roosevelt refused to
shoot a bear here ...
that's how the teddy bear got its name.

MISSOURI ... Is the
birthplace of the ice cream cone.
MONTANA ... A
sapphire from Montana is in the
Crown Jewels of England .

NEBRASKA ... More
triplets are born here than in any other
state.
NEW HAMPSHIRE ...
Birthplace of Tupperware,
invented in 1938 by
Earl Tupper.

NEW JERSEY ... Has
the most shopping malls in one
area in the world

NEW MEXICO ... Smokey
the Bear was rescued from
a 1950 forest fire here.

NEW YORK ... Is home
to the nation's oldest cattle ranch,
started in 1747 in Montauk.

NORTH CAROLINA ..
Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.

NORTH DAKOTA ...
Rigby , North Dakota , is the exact
geographic center of North America .

OHIO ... The hot dog
was invented here in 1900. OH !!!!

OKLAHOMA ... The
grounds of the state capital are
covered by operating oil wells.

OREGON ... Has the
most ghost towns in the country.

PENNSYLVANIA ... The
smiley, :) was first used in 1980
by computer scientists
at Carnegie Mellon University .

RHODE ISLAND ... The
nation's oldest bar, the
White Horse Tavern,
opened here in 1673

SOUTH CAROLINA ..
Sumter County is home to the
world's largest gingko farm.

SOUTH DAKOTA ... Is
the only state that's never
had an earthquake

TENNESSEE ...
Nashville 's Grand Ole Opry is the
longest running live radio show
in the world.

TEXAS ... Dr.
Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885.

UTAH ... The first
Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant
opened here in 1952.

VERMONT ...
Montpelier is the only state capital
without a McDonald's.

VIRGINIA ... Home of
the world's largest office building
the Pentagon.
WASHINGTON ...

Seattle has twice as many college graduates
as any other state.

WASHINGTON D.C.
.... Was the first planned capital in the
world.

WEST VIRGINIA ... Had
the world's first brick paved street,
Summers Street, laid in
Charleston in 1870.

WISCONSIN ... The ice
cream sundae was invented
here in 1881 to get
around Blue Laws prohibiting
ice cream from being
sold on Sundays.
WYOMING .... Was the
first state to allow women to vote.

24 THINGS ABOUT TO BECOME EXTINCT IN AMERICA

24. Yellow Pages
This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like
newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their
various
digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search
engines and combination search/listing services like Reach Local and Yodel
Factors
like an acceleration of the print 'fade rate' and the looming recession will
contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage
of newspapers and print Yellow Pages could even reach 10% this year -- much
higher than the 2%-3% fade rate seen in past years.

23. Classified Ads
The Internet has made so many things obsolete that newspaper classified ads
might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one
of
those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as
we know it. The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by
free
online listings at sites like
Craigslist.org
and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them.

22. Movie Rental Stores
While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store
locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world,
but
those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially
since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City. Movie Gallery, which
owned
the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small
video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already.

21. Dial-up Internet Access
Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The
combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed
Internet connections
and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the
coffin of dial-up Internet access.

20. Phone Land lines
According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the
end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that
had land lines, one in eight only received calls on their cells.

19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs
Maryland 's icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay Last
year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just
four
decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70%
since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120
million
crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainable
population. Over-fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming
get the
blame.

18. VCRs
For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple
in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and
now the Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS
age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days.
Pre-recorded
VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be
found. They served us so well.

17. Ash Trees
In the late 1990s, a pretty, iridescent green species of beetle, now known
as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood
products
imported from eastern Asia. In less than a decade, its larvae have killed
millions of trees in the Midwest, and continue to spread. They've killed
more
than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of
millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana. More than 7.5 billion ash trees are
currently
at risk.

16. Ham Radio
Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless
communications with each other and are able to support their communities
with emergency
and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal
knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the
Internet
and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In
the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio
licenses
has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement.

15. The Swimming Hole
Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the
past. '20/20' reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High
Falls,
NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they'll
sue. And that's exactly what happened in Seattle. The city of Bellingham was
sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming
hole in Whatcom Falls Park. As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect
more
swimming holes to post 'Keep out!' signs.

14. Answering Machines
The increasing disappearance of answering machines is directly tied to No 20
our list -- the decline of land lines. According to USA Today, the number of
homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007. It has
been particularly bad in New York; since 2000, land line usage has dropped
55%.
It's logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional
land lines, that there will be fewer answering machines.

13. Cameras That Use Film
It doesn't require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the
film camera in America. Just look to companies like Nikon, the
professional's
choice for quality camera equipment. In 2006, it announced that it would
stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market -- only 3% of its
sales
in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment.

12. Incandescent Bulbs
Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (or, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was
the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and
all-things-sustainable-energy
crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb (CFL) is largely replacing the
older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for
Energy
Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for
approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA
Today, a
new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next four to 12
years.

11. Stand-Alone Bowling Alleys
BowlingBalls US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at
least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys.
Today
most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types or recreation
including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing
walls
and glow miniature golf. Bowling lanes also have been added to many
non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and
gambling
casinos.

10. The Milkman
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the
milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles, by 1963, it was about a
third
and by 2001, it represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold
through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steady decline in home-delivered
milk
is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home
refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the
rounds in
pockets of the U.S., they are certainly a dying breed.

9. Hand-Written Letters
In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails
were sent each day. Two million each second. By November of 2007, an
estimated
3.3 billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world's population
had access to cell phone coverage. In 2004, half-a-trillion text messages
were
sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So
where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite
hand-written
letter?

8. Wild Horses
It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were
roaming free within the United States. In 2001, National Geographic News
estimated
that the wild horse population had decreased to about 50,000 head.
Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that
there are 32,000
free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in
Nevada. The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number
of
free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia.

7. Personal Checks
According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan
to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14%
plan
to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last
stronghold of paper-based payments -- for the time being. Checks continue to
be the
most commonly used bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at
least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, on a
bill-by-bill
basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers' recurring bill payments
(down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in 2003).

6. Drive-in Theaters
During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in
this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating. Exactly
zero
new drive-ins have been built since 2005. Only one reopened in 2005 and five
reopened in 2006, so there isn't much of a movement toward reviving the
closed
ones.

5. Mumps & Measles
Despite what's been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually,
truly are disappearing from the United States. In 1964, 212,000 cases of
mumps were
reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped to 3,000, thanks to a
vigorous vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles
vaccine,
approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S.
annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded.

4. Honey Bees
Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting
so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the
honey
bee. Very scary. 'Colony Collapse Disorder,' or CCD, has spread throughout
the U.S. and Europe over the past few years due to micro, electrical and
sonar
waves wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers -- and along
with it, their livelihood.

3. News Magazines and TV News
While the TV evening newscasts haven't gone anywhere over the last several
decades, their audiences have. In 1984, in a story about the diminishing
returns
of the evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network
evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers. Fast forward
to 2008,
and what they have today is half that.

2. Analog TV
According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S.
get their television programming through cable or satellite providers. For
the
remaining 15% -- or 13 million individuals -- who are using rabbit ears or a
large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is in the air. If
you are one of these people you'll need to get a new TV or a converter box
in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital.

1. The Family Farm
Since the 1930's, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly.
According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this
number
had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007
census hasn't yet been published). Ninety-one percent of the U.S. FARMS are
small
Family Farms.

Both interesting and saddening, isn't it?

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was
God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7... Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!

The Funeral Procession

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?'

My wife's.

''What happened to her?'

The man replied, My dog attacked and killed her'

He inquired further, But who is in the second hearse?'

The man answered, My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.'

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

Can I borrow the dog?'

The man replied, Get in line.

Three Little Boys

THREE LITTLE BOYS were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school..
So they went to the nearest church. But, only the janitor was there.
One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?"
"Sure," said the janitor.
He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "You are now baptized!"

When they got outside, one of them asked, "'What religion do you think we are?"

The oldest one said, "We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you."
"We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you."

The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?"

They all joined in asking, "Yeah! What do you think that means?"

"I think it means we're Pisskopailians !"

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND.

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school
district.

Spellings have been left intact.



1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today
Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had
her
shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29,
30,
31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he
fell
out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of
his
face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He
was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been
bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose
vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had
diahre
dyrea direathethe shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had
diarrhea,
and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping
because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We
forgot
to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We
thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to
attend
her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She
spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a
cold
and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in
bed
with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,
sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever
an
sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasn't
the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going
around, her father even got hot last night.



Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for
their
kids.

Cannabis

From Wikipedia

Dried flowers from the Cannabis sativa plant. Note the visible trichomes (commonly known as "crystals"), which contain large quantities of THC, CBD and other cannabinoids.
Scientific classification
Kingdom: Plantae

Phylum: Magnoliophyta

Class: Magnoliopsida

Order: Rosales

Family: Cannabaceae

Genus: Cannabis

Species: C. sativa

Binomial name
Cannabis sativa L.[1]

Cannabis indica Lam. (putative)[1]


Cannabis, also known as marijuana[2], marihuana,[3] and ganja (from Sanskrit: गांजा gañjā, meaning "hemp"), among many other namesa[›], refers to any number of preparations of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug. The most common form of cannabis used as a drug is the dried herbal form.

The typical herbal form of cannabis consists of the flowers and subtending leaves and stalks of mature pistillate or female plants. The resinous form of the drug is known as hashish (or merely as 'hash').[4]

The major psychoactive chemical compound in cannabis is Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol (commonly abbreviated as THC). At least 66 other cannabinoids are also present in cannabis, including cannabidiol (CBD), cannabinol (CBN) and tetrahydrocannabivarin (THCV) among many others, which are believed to result in different effects than those of THC alone.[5]

Cannabis use has been found to have occurred as long ago as the third millennium B.C.[6] In modern times, the drug has been used for recreational, religious or spiritual, and medicinal purposes. The United Nations (UN) estimated that in 2004 about 4% of the world's adult population (162 million people) use cannabis annually, and about 0.6% (22.5 million) use it on a daily basis.[7] The possession, use, or sale of cannabis preparations containing psychoactive cannabinoids became illegal in most parts of the world in the early twentieth century. Since then, some countries have intensified the enforcement of cannabis prohibition, while others have reduced it.

Contents [hide]
1 History
2 Forms
2.1 Cannabis (herbal form)
2.2 Hashish
2.3 Hash oil
2.4 Kief
2.5 Residue
3 Potency
4 Routes of administration
5 Effects
5.1 Classification
5.2 Medical use
5.3 Long-term effects
5.4 Adulterants
6 Gateway drug theory
7 Legal status
8 Price
9 Truth serum
10 Breeding and cultivation
11 See also
12 Notes
12.1 Footnotes
12.2 Citations
13 Further reading
14 External links


History

The use of cannabis, at least as fiber, has been shown to go back at least 10,000 years in Taiwan.[8] Má (Pinyin pronunciation), the Chinese expression for hemp, is a pictograph of two plants under a shelter.[9]Cannabis is indigenous to Central and South Asia.[10] Evidence of the inhalation of cannabis smoke can be found as far back as the 3rd millennium B.C., as indicated by charred cannabis seeds found in a ritual brazier at an ancient burial site in present day Romania.[6] Cannabis is also known to have been used by the ancient Hindus of India and Nepal thousands of years ago. The herb was called ganjika in Sanskrit (गांजा/গাঁজা ganja in modern Indic languages).[11][12] The ancient drug soma, mentioned in the Vedas as a sacred intoxicating hallucinogen, was sometimes associated with cannabis.[13]

Cannabis was also known to the ancient Assyrians, who discovered its psychoactive properties through the Aryans.[14] Using it in some religious ceremonies, they called it qunubu (meaning "way to produce smoke"), a probable origin of the modern word "cannabis".[15] Cannabis was also introduced by the Aryans to the Scythians and Thracians/Dacians, whose shamans (the kapnobatai—"those who walk on smoke/clouds") burned cannabis flowers to induce a state of trance.[16] Members of the cult of Dionysus, believed to have originated in Thrace (Bulgaria, Greece and Turkey), are also thought to have inhaled cannabis smoke. In 2003, a leather basket filled with cannabis leaf fragments and seeds was found next to a 2,500- to 2,800-year-old mummified shaman in the northwestern Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region of China.[17][18]


Cannabis sativa from Vienna Dioscurides, 512 A.D.Cannabis has an ancient history of ritual use and is found in pharmacological cults around the world. Hemp seeds discovered by archaeologists at Pazyryk suggest early ceremonial practices like eating by the Scythians occurred during the 5th to 2nd century B.C., confirming previous historical reports by Herodotus.[19] One writer has claimed that cannabis was used as a religious sacrament by ancient Jews and early Christians[20] due to the similarity between the Hebrew word "qannabbos" ("cannabis") and the Hebrew phrase "qené bósem" ("aromatic cane"). It was used by Muslims in various Sufi orders as early as the Mamluk period, for example by the Qalandars.[21]

A study published in the South African Journal of Science showed that "pipes dug up from the garden of Shakespeare's home in Stratford upon Avon contain traces of cannabis."[22] The chemical analysis was carried out after researchers hypothesized that the "noted weed" mentioned in Sonnet 76 and the "journey in my head" from Sonnet 27 could be references to cannabis and the use thereof.[23]

Cannabis was criminalized in the United States in 1937 due to Marihuana Tax Act of 1937. Several theories try to explain why it is illegal in most Western societies. Jack Herer, a cannabis legalization activist and writer, argues that the economic interests of the paper and chemical industry were a driving force to make it illegal.[24][25][26] Another explanation is that beneficial effects of hemp would lower the profit of pharmaceutical companies which therefore have a vital interest to keep cannabis illegal.[27] Those economic theories were criticized for not taking social aspect into account. The illegalization was rather a result of racism directed to associate American immigrants of Mexican and African descent with cannabis abuse.[28]

Forms
Cannabis (herbal form)

Dried Cannabis flowers in its herbal form.The terms cannabis or marijuana generally refer to the dried flowers and subtending leaves and stems of the female cannabis plant. This is the most widely consumed form, containing 3% to 22% THC.[29][30] In contrast, cannabis strains used to produce industrial hemp contain less than 1% THC and are thus not valued for recreational use.[31]

Hashish

HashishMain article: Hashish
Hashish (also spelled hasheesh) or hash is a concentrated resin produced from the flowers of the female cannabis plant. Hash can often be more potent than marijuana and can be smoked or chewed.[32] It varies in color from black to golden brown depending upon purity.

According to both the "Talk to FRANK" website and the UKCIA website, "Soap Bar", "perhaps the most common type of hash found in the UK", can contain turpentine, tranquillizers, boot polish, henna and animal turds - amongst several other things.[33][34] One small study of five soap-bar samples seized by UK Customs in 2001 found huge adulteration by many toxic substances, including soil, glue, engine oil and animal faeces.[35]

Hash oil
Main article: Hash oil
Hash oil, or honey oil, is an essential oil extracted from the cannabis plant through the use of various solvents. It has a high proportion of cannabinoids (ranging from 40–90%).[36] This oil is also used in the process of making a variety of cannabis foods.

Kief
Main article: Kief
Kief is a powder made from trichomes removed from the leaves and flowers of cannabis plants. Kief can also be compressed to produce one form of hashish, or consumed in powder form.[37]

Residue

Residue collected from a pipeBecause of THC's adhesive properties, a sticky residue builds up inside the paraphernalia when cannabis is smoked. It has tar-like properties but still contains THC as well as other cannabinoids. This buildup still has all the psychoactive properties of cannabis but is more difficult to smoke due to the discomfort caused to the throat and lungs. Cannabis users typically only smoke residue when cannabis is unavailable. Glass may be water-steamed at a low temperature prior to scraping in order to make the residue easier to remove.[38]

Potency
According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC), "the amount of THC present in a cannabis sample is generally used as a measure of cannabis potency."[39] The three main forms of cannabis products are the herb (marijuana), resin (hashish), and oil (hash oil). The UNODC states that marijuana often contains 5% THC content, resin "can contain up to 20% THC content", and that "Cannabis oil may contain more than 60% THC content.".[39]

A scientific study published in 2000 in the Journal of Forensic Sciences (JFS) found that the potency (THC content) of confiscated cannabis in the United States (US) rose from "approximately 3.3% in 1983 and 1984", to "4.47% in 1997". It also concluded that "other major cannabinoids (i.e., CBD, CBN, and CBC)" (other chemicals in cannabis) "showed no significant change in their concentration over the years".[40] More recent research undertaken at the University of Mississippi's Potency Monitoring Project[41] has found that average THC levels in cannabis samples between 1975 and 2007 have increased from 4% in 1983 to 9.6% in 2007.

Australia's National Cannabis Prevention and Information Centre (NCPIC) states that the buds (flowers) of the female cannabis plant contain the highest concentration of THC, followed by the leaves. The stalks and seeds have "much lower THC levels".[42] The UN states that the leaves can contain ten times less THC than the buds, and the stalks one hundred times less THC.[39]

According to the "Talk to FRANK" (UK) website:

"Recently, there has been an increased availability of strong herbal cannabis, containing on average 2-3 times the amount of the active compound, tetrahydrocannabinol or THC, as compared to the traditional imported ‘weed’. This strong cannabis includes:‘sinsemilla’ (a bud grown in the absence of male plants and which has no seeds); ‘homegrown’; ‘skunk’, which has a characteristic strong smell; and imported ‘netherweed’...

...it may not be possible to tell whether a particular sample of 'skunk' or ‘homegrown’ or ‘sinsemilla’ will have a higher potency than an equal amount of traditional herbal cannabis

Of course, "homegrown", "netherweed" and "sinsemilla" are not always "strong". The selection of "skunk" strains generally are, although not every strain of cannabis with a "characteristic strong smell" can be accurately named "skunk". "Traditional herbal cannabis" or "weed", has on the whole, always been subjectively "strong" and thus FRANK leaves his website uncited.[34]

Routes of administration

A Volcano vaporizer. The balloon (top) is filled with vapors that are eventually inhaled.
Cannabis joints are potentially the most harmful method of consumption.
A narrow, screened single-toke utensil, such as the midwakh (shown here) or kiseru, provides small, low-temperature servings, protecting against health damage.Main article: Cannabis consumption
Cannabis is consumed in many different ways, most of which involve inhaling smoke.

The most commonly used include screened bowls, bubblers (small pipes with water chambers), bongs, one-hitters, chillums, paper-wrapped joints and tobacco-leaf-wrapped blunts. Local methods differ by the preparation of the cannabis plant before use, the parts of the cannabis plant which are used, and the treatment of the smoke before inhalation.

A vaporizer heats herbal cannabis to 365–410 °F (185–210 °C), which causes the active ingredients to evaporate into a gas without burning the plant material (the boiling point of THC is 392°F (200°C) at 0.02mmHg pressure, and somewhat higher at standard atmospheric pressure).[43] A lower proportion of toxic chemicals are released than by smoking, although this may vary depending on the design of the vaporizer and the temperature at which it is set. This method of consuming cannabis produces markedly different effects than smoking due to the flash points of different cannabinoids; for example, CBN has a flash point of 212.7°C[44] and would normally be present in smoke but might not be present in vapor.

As an alternative to smoking, cannabis may be consumed orally. However, the cannabis or its extract must be sufficiently heated or dehydrated to cause decarboxylation of its most abundant cannabinoid, tetrahydrocannabinolic acid (THCA), into psychoactive THC.[45]

Cannabinoids can be leached from cannabis plant matter using high-proof spirits (often grain alcohol) to create a tincture, often referred to as Green Dragon.

Cannabis can also be consumed as a tea. THC is lipophilic and only slightly water soluble (with a solubility of 2.8 mg per liter),[46] so tea is made by first adding a saturated fat to hot water (i.e. cream or any milk except skim) with a small amount of cannabis, green or black tea leaves and honey or sugar, steeped for approximately 5 minutes.

Effects

Main short-term physical effects of cannabis.Main article: Effects of cannabis
Cannabis has psychoactive and physiological effects when consumed. The minimum amount of THC required to have a perceptible psychoactive effect is about 10 micrograms per kilogram of body weight.[47] Aside from a subjective change in perception and, most notably, mood, the most common short-term physical and neurological effects include increased heart rate, lowered blood pressure, impairment of short-term episodic memory, working memory, psychomotor coordination, and concentration.[48] Long-term effects are less clear.[49][50]

Classification
Main article: Psychoactive effects
While many drugs clearly fall into the category of either stimulant, depressant, or hallucinogen, cannabis exhibits a mix of all properties, perhaps leaning the most towards hallucinogen or psychedelic properties, though with other effects quite pronounced as well. Though THC is typically considered the primary active component of the cannabis plant, various scientific studies have suggested that certain other cannabinoids like CBD may also play a significant role in its psychoactive effects.[8][51][52]




Medical use
Main article: Medical cannabis
Although the extent of the medicinal value of cannabis has been debated, it does have several well-documented beneficial effects. Among these are: the amelioration of nausea and vomiting, stimulation of hunger in chemotherapy and AIDS patients, lowered intraocular eye pressure (shown to be effective for treating glaucoma), as well as general analgesic effects (pain reliever).b[›]

Less confirmed individual studies also have been conducted indicating cannabis to be beneficial to a gamut of conditions running from multiple sclerosis to depression. Synthesized cannabinoids are also sold as prescription drugs, including Marinol (dronabinol in the United States and Germany) and Cesamet (nabilone in Canada, Mexico, The United States and The United Kingdom).b[›]

Currently, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved smoked marijuana for any condition or disease in the United States, largely because good quality scientific evidence for its use is lacking; however, a major barrier to acquiring the necessary evidence is the lack of federal funding for this kind of research.[53] Regardless, thirteen states have legalized cannabis for medical use.[54][55] Canada, Spain, The Netherlands and Austria have also legalized cannabis for medicinal use.[56][57]

Long-term effects
Main article: Effects of cannabis#Long-term effects
The smoking of cannabis is the most harmful method of consumption, as the inhalation of smoke from organic materials can cause various health problems.[58]

By comparison, studies on the vaporization of cannabis found that subjects were "only 40% as likely to report respiratory symptoms as users who do not vaporize, even when age, sex, cigarette use, and amount of cannabis consumed are controlled."[59] Another study found vaporizers to be "a safe and effective cannabinoid delivery system."[60][61]


Cannabis is ranked one of the least harmful drugs by a study published in the UK medical journal, The Lancet.[62]While a study in New Zealand of 79 lung-cancer patients suggested daily cannabis smokers have a 5.7 times higher risk of lung cancer than non-users,[63] another study of 2252 people in Los Angeles failed to find a correlation between the smoking of cannabis and lung, head or neck cancers.[64] These effects have been attributed to the well documented anti-tumoral properties of cannabinoids, specifically tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and cannabidiol. Some studies have also found that moderate cannabis use may protect against head and neck cancers,[65] as well as lung cancer.[66] Some studies have shown that cannabidiol may also be useful in treating breast cancer.[67]

Cannabis use has been assessed by several studies to be correlated with the development of anxiety, psychosis, and depression.[68][69] Indeed, a 2007 meta-analysis estimated that cannabis use is statistically associated, in a dose-dependent manner, to an increased risk in the development of psychotic disorders, including schizophrenia.[70] No causal mechanism has been proven, however, and the meaning of the correlation and its direction is a subject of debate that has not been resolved in the scientific community. Some studies assess that the causality is more likely to involve a path from cannabis use to psychotic symptoms rather than a path from psychotic symptoms to cannabis use,[71] while others assess the opposite direction of the causality, or hold cannabis to only form parts of a "causal constellation", while not inflicting mental health problems that would not have occurred in the absence of the cannabis use.[72][73]

Though cannabis use has at times been associated with stroke, there is no firmly established link, and potential mechanisms are unknown.[74] Similarly, there is no established relationship between cannabis use and heart disease, including exacerbation of cases of existing heart disease.[75] Though some fMRI studies have shown changes in neurological function in long term heavy cannabis users, no long term behavioral effects after abstinence have been linked to these changes.[76]

Adulterants
Adulterants in cannabis are less common than in other drugs of abuse. Chalk (in the Netherlands) and glass particles (in the UK) have been used at times to make cannabis appear to be higher quality.[77][78][79] Increasing the weight of hashish products in Germany with lead caused lead intoxication in at least 29 users.[80] In the Netherlands two chemical analogs of Sildenafil (Viagra) were found in adulterated marijuana.[81]

Gateway drug theory
Further information: Gateway drug theory
Some claim that trying cannabis increases the probability that users will eventually use "harder" drugs. This hypothesis has been one of the central pillars of anti-cannabis drug policy in the United States,[82] though the validity and implications of these hypotheses are highly debated.[83] Studies have shown that tobacco smoking is a better predictor of concurrent illicit hard drug use than smoking cannabis.[84]

No widely accepted study has ever demonstrated a cause-and-effect relationship between the use of cannabis and the later use of harder drugs like heroin and cocaine. However, the prevalence of tobacco cigarette advertising and the practice of mixing tobacco and cannabis together in a single large joint, common in Europe, are believed to be a factor in promoting nicotine dependency among young persons investigating cannabis.[85]

A 2005 comprehensive review of the literature on the cannabis gateway hypothesis found that pre-existing traits may predispose users to addiction in general, the availability of multiple drugs in a given setting confounds predictive patterns in their usage, and drug sub-cultures are more influential than cannabis itself. The study called for further research on "social context, individual characteristics, and drug effects" to discover the actual relationships between cannabis and the use of other drugs.[86]

A new user of cannabis who feels there is a difference between anti-drug information and their own experiences will apply this distrust to public information about other, more powerful drugs. Some studies state that while there is no proof for this gateway hypothesis, young cannabis users should still be considered as a risk group for intervention programs.[87] Other findings indicate that hard drug users are likely to be "poly-drug" users, and that interventions must address the use of multiple drugs instead of a single hard drug.[88]

Another gateway hypothesis is that while cannabis is not as harmful or addictive as other drugs, a gateway effect may be detected as a result of the "common factors" involved with using any illegal drug. Because of its illegal status, cannabis users are more likely to be in situations which allow them to become acquainted with people who use and sell other illegal drugs.[89][90] By this argument, some studies have shown that alcohol and tobacco may be regarded as gateway drugs.[84] However, a more parsimonious explanation could be that cannabis is simply more readily available (and at an earlier age) than illegal hard drugs, and alcohol/tobacco are in turn easier to obtain earlier than cannabis (though the reverse may be true in some areas), thus leading to the "gateway sequence" in those people who are most likely to experiment with any drug offered.[83]

Legal status

Cannabis propaganda sheet from 1935Main article: Legality of cannabis
See also: Drug prohibition, Drug liberalization, and AB 390
Since the beginning of the 20th century, most countries have enacted laws against the cultivation, possession, or transfer of cannabis for recreational use. These laws have impacted adversely on the cannabis plant's cultivation for non-recreational purposes, but there are many regions where, under certain circumstances, handling of cannabis is legal or licensed. Many jurisdictions have lessened the penalties for possession of small quantities of cannabis, so that it is punished by confiscation and sometimes a fine, rather than imprisonment, focusing more on those who traffic the drug on the black market.

In some areas where cannabis use has been historically tolerated, some new restrictions have been put in place, such as the closing of cannabis coffee shops near the borders of the Netherlands,[91] closing of coffee shops near secondary schools in the Netherlands and crackdowns on "Pusher Street" in Christiania, Copenhagen in 2004.[92][93]

Some jurisdictions use free voluntary treatment programs and/or mandatory treatment programs for frequent known users. Simple possession can carry long prison terms in some countries, particularly in East Asia, where the sale of cannabis may lead to a sentence of life in prison or even execution.

Price
The price or street value of cannabis varies strongly by region and area. In addition, some dealers may sell potent buds at a higher price.[94]

In the United States, cannabis is overall the #4 value crop, and is #1 or #2 in many states including California, New York and Florida, averaging $3,000/lb.[95][96] It is believed to generate an estimated $36 billion market.[97] Most of the money is spent not on growing and producing but on smuggling the supply to buyers. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime claims in its 2008 World Drug Report that typical U.S. retail prices are 10-15 dollars per gram (approximately $290 to $430 per ounce). Street prices in North America are known to range at about $150 to $250 per ounce.[98]

The European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction reports that typical retail prices in Europe for cannabis varies from 2€ to 14€ per gram, with a majority of European countries reporting prices in the range 4–10€.[99] In the United Kingdom, a cannabis plant has an approximate street value of £300.[100]

Truth serum
Cannabis was used as a truth serum by the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), a US government intelligence agency formed during World War II. In the early 1940s, it was the most effective truth drug developed at the OSS labs at St. Elizabeths Hospital; it caused a subject "to be loquacious and free in his impartation of information."[101]

In May 1943, Major George Hunter White, head of OSS counter-intelligence operations in the US, arranged a meeting with Augusto Del Gracio, an enforcer for gangster Lucky Luciano. Del Gracio was given cigarettes spiked with THC concentrate from cannabis, and subsequently talked openly about Luciano's heroin operation. On a second occasion the dosage was increased such that Del Gracio passed out for two hours.[101]

Breeding and cultivation

Maturing female Cannabis plantMain article: Cannabis cultivation
It is often claimed by growers and breeders of herbal cannabis that advances in breeding and cultivation techniques have increased the potency of cannabis since the late 1960s and early '70s, when THC was first discovered and understood. However, potent seedless marijuana such as "Thai sticks" were already available at that time. Sinsemilla (Spanish for "without seed") is the dried, seedless inflorescences of female cannabis plants. Because THC production drops off once pollination occurs, the male plants (which produce little THC themselves) are eliminated before they shed pollen to prevent pollination. Advanced cultivation techniques such as hydroponics, cloning, high-intensity artificial lighting, and the sea of green method are frequently employed as a response (in part) to prohibition enforcement efforts that make outdoor cultivation more risky. These intensive horticultural techniques have made it possible to grow strains with fewer seeds and higher potency. It is often cited that the average levels of THC in cannabis sold in United States rose dramatically between the 1970s and 2000, but such statements are likely skewed because of undue weight given to much more expensive and potent, but less prevalent samples.[102]


"Skunk" refers to several named strains of potent cannabis, grown through selective breeding and often hydroponics. It is a cross-breed of Cannabis sativa and C. indica (although other strains of this mix exist in abundance). Skunk cannabis potency ranges usually from 6% to 15% and rarely as high as 20%. The average THC level in coffee shops in the Netherlands is about 18–19%.[103]

Skunk can sometimes be incorrectly mistaken for all types of female herbal cannabis.[104]

After revisions to cannabis rescheduling in the UK, the government moved cannabis back from a class C to a class B drug. A purported reason was the appearance of high potency cannabis.[105]

It is noted that one of the earliest strains of skunk to appear was that of "SKUNK #1", which has been inbred since 1978.[106] High potency herbal cannabis has been around potentially, even longer.

A Dutch double-blind, randomized, placebo-controlled, cross-over study examining male volunteers aged 18–45 years with a self-reported history of regular cannabis use concluded that smoking of cannabis with high THC levels (marijuana with 9–23% THC), as currently sold in coffee shops in the Netherlands, may lead to higher THC blood-serum concentrations. This is reflected by an increase of the occurrence of impaired psychomotor skills, particularly among younger or inexperienced cannabis smokers, who do not adapt their smoking style to the higher THC content.[107] High THC concentrations in cannabis was associated with a dose-related increase of physical effects (such as increase of heart rate, and decrease of blood pressure) and psychomotor effects (such as reacting more slowly, being less concentrated, making more mistakes during performance testing, having less motor control, and experiencing drowsiness). It was also observed during the study that the effects from a single joint at times lasted for more than eight hours. Reaction times remained impaired five hours after smoking, when the THC serum concentrations were significantly reduced, but still present. The researchers suggested that THC may accumulate in blood-serum when cannabis is smoked several times per day.

Another study showed that consumption of 15 mg of Δ9-THC resulted in no impairment to learning whatsoever occurring over a three-trial selective reminding task after two hours. In several tasks, Δ9-THC increased both speed and error rates, reflecting “riskier” speed–accuracy trade-offs.

Special Ed

Rap!
Youngest In Charge

Taxing
I Got It Made
I'm the Magnificent
Club Scene
Hoedown
Think About It
Ak-Shun
Monster Jam
The Bush
Fly M.C
Heds and Dreds

CLICK TITLE LINK TO DOWNLOAD THIS FILE

Thinking Test!

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll
down.




















The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe,
and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.



2 . How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?




















Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close
the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in
the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through
the repercussions of your previous actions.















3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
Attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend?























Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.
You just put him in there.? This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did
not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more
chance to show your true abilities.







4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
You do not have a boat. How do you manage it?





















Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Have you
not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the
Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many
preschoolers got several correct answers..Anderson Consulting says this
conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of
a four-year-old.


Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.

Valentines day!

Ah its that time of year again.
Valentines day!
Am usually single by this time of year.
But what's new, I wish we single people can just make this day disappear all together!
But we can't, so fuck it!
Am just going to be chillin alone again!
Lol!
I wish all you happy couples a very happy valentines day!
And please don't fucking end up like my pathetic ass!
Lol!
Alone!
Haha!

Meaning of color and your Birthday

Don ' t cheat, If you are honest, this
tells the truth. It ' s pretty good.

Write your answers on a piece of
paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom.


1. Which is your favorite color out
of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow ?

2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black
or white?
5. Name of a person of the same gender
as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you ' re done, scroll down. (Don
' t cheat!)

















Answers

1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is
full of love..
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
green - Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.
blue - You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you love..
yellow - You are a very happy person
and give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the
maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good..

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone
totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong
love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last
forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year
and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be
great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a
different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the
best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may
not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6 This is how many close friends you
have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
Flying: You like adventure.
Driving: You are a laid back person.

8... If you chose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends
and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to
please people.

9. This wish will come true only if
you send this to five people in one hour. Send it to ten people, and
it will come true before your next birthday

May happiness smile on your world and in your heart

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'.

* * *

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'


* * *



Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway.'



* * *



Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.' With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!



* * *



On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?' he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. 'You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer.'



* * *



Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going on over there?'



* * *



Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, 'That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle?' Blank stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.' An eight-year-old girl perked up. 'How long was he missing?'



* * *



His wife's grave side service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.

Pin Numver

PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (GOOD TO KNOW)
>
> If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an
>ATM machine,
> You can notify the police by entering your
> Pin # in reverse. For example, if your pin
> Number is 1234 then you would put in 4321.
>
> The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM
>card you placed in the machine.
>
> The machine will still give you the money you requested, but
>unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help
>you. This information was recently broadcasted on FOX TV
> And it states that it is seldom used because people don't know it
>exists.
> Please pass this along to everyone possible.

The Babe!

Athlete, baseball player. Born on February 6, 1895 in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. Babe Ruth was born in a poor waterfront neighbourhood and at age eight was sent by his saloon-keeper father to St Mary's Industrial School for Boys, where a priest encouraged his interest in baseball.

As a teenager, his baseball exploits caught the attention of the minor league Baltimore Orioles, where he starred as a left-handed pitcher in 1914. Later that year, he was promoted to the major-league Boston Red Sox, where he remained until 1919, becoming one of the best pitchers of the time.

But he was also demonstrating his power with the bat, and when he was sold (1920) to the New York Yankees for a record $100,000, he was made a full-time outfielder. With the Yankees (1920 34), he became the game's pre-eminent player, and such a drawing card that the new Yankee Stadium (1923) was dubbed "the house that Ruth built."

During the 1920s he was legendary for his large appetite and high living, and even appeared in several films, and in the following decades he came to assume almost mythical status. In 1927 he slammed 60 home runs, a record that stood until Roger Maris hit 61 in 1961. Ruth holds most of baseball's important slugging records, including most years leading a league in home runs (12), and most total bases in a season (457) and highest slugging percentage for a season (·847), both set in 1920.

Babe Ruth retired from the Boston Braves in June 1935 with 714 career home runs, a record that was broken by Hank Aaron in 1974. He was a coach with the Brooklyn Dodgers (1938) but never achieved his goal of managing a major-league team. He gave much of his time in his last years to charitable events. He was one of the first five players elected to the Hall of Fame in 1936. He died of cancer on August 16, 1948, leaving much of his estate to the Babe Ruth Foundation for underprivileged children.

The Babe Ruth Collection
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HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.

George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi,was going up to
bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to
go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing
things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing
from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your
doors and an officer will be along when one is available.."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again..
"Hello,I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
stealing things from my shed.. Well, you don't have to worry about them now
because
I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and
he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team,a Helicopter, two Fire
Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence,
and
caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot
them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story)
Don't mess with old people.
Live well, laugh often, love much!!!

Biografia De DJ D Flow

Daniel Rodriguez conocido en el ambiente musical como Dj D Flow, nacido en San Juan, Puerto Rico y criado en la barriada Las Monjas en Hato Rey. Actualmente estudiando en la cuidad de Bayamon, en el Colegio De Cinematografia Artes Y Television (CCAT). Dj D Flow comenzo a crear remix y mixeos en noviembre del 2006 y poco a poco fue viendo los resultados de sus inventos y logro competir y mantenerse entre los mejores, en su trayectoria a participado en varios mix tapes como: Dual Connection, Rankiaera.Com The Take Over, Los Malciaos, entre otros... tambien ah lanzado dos mix tapes que han sido un exito en su carrera, tambien ah creado mixeos exclusivos para Eloy, ScarFlow, Warionex Y Yeray, Jamsha, Yaga & Mackie, entre otros, inclusive Dj D Flow logro llevar su musica a Latino America y difrentes partes de los Estados Unidos y como recompensa de lu gran labor se han transmitido por las principales emisoras de la radio latina, en Puerto Rico Mix 107.7 FM, tambien la musica se ah escuchado en discotecas de Estados Unidos, America Latina Y Puerto Rico. En el 2008 Dj D Flow se interconecto con una compañia fantasma llamada Fanton Music la cucal esta dandose a conocer. Dios Los Bendiga. DJ D FLOW.

dflowdj.webs.com

www.myspace.com/dflowdj

www.myspace.com/realflow

www.myspace.com/bambamrecordmusicspace

www.myspace.com/fantonmusic

Luis

Urban Dictionary
Luis

1. A sexy, young, dark-hair/dark-eyed male with an irresistibly attractive face and a beautiful personality.
2. That one guy all girls want because he puts every other guy to shame.
3. Walking definition of the most perfect boyfriend in existence.
4. Always found paired with a Laura.

Guy 1: My girlfriend met Luis the other day and they're becoming close friends.
Guy 2: Shit, man. You've already lost her.

Girl 1: Luis is so perfect. I wish he'd talk to me again.
Girl 2: Not gonna happen. He's fallen completely in love with Laura.

adj: someone who is really shy when it comes to girls. He makes elaborate plans to try to talk to them but never executes them. If a girl likes him he usually decides to ignore him.
me: Hey dude cristina likes you. You should go talk to her!

luis: *gets nervous* well i dont know maybe if plan some thing to say...*starts making complex plan*

me: wow your such a luis

A sexy, tall, dark, and handsome boy with a beautiful smile. He's the boy you glance over at, and when he notices, you instantly look away and blush. When he passes by, he gives you a sweet smile that just melts your insides. You'd think he's conceited but realize that he's just quiet. Before you know it, he'll be all you want to think about.
A Sexy Usually latino male with dark skin and beautiful brown eyes, fit with great hair. Loving and Caring but likes to get to the point. Loves sex is good in bed loves lesbians and has a big dick. He knows how to play around with your titties and pussy. A guy you cant go without talking to
Super hot guy who can easily get along with Gemini female!
Also Very Attractive and One of the best male alive along with Who Da Homies . very rare and hard to find his kind of love! Usually You'll find him at a very romantic spot... but not alone ... always he'll be with his number one girl... LNM forever
1. A handsome, spanish, dark hair- deep brown eyed male with an attractive face and shocking personality
2. The most perfect boyfriend on the earth
3. He is often paired with blonds, usually a Lauren
4. Has the ability to put anyone to shame including girls for his amazing taste in clothes
5. Wears the most amazing cologne imageable, when he walks by, girls follow him in awe.

loves to make girls smile and is irrisistible
luis the guy ur ex will hate ur mother will love and will be with you forever
A male who can't hold his alcohol, literally. Just holding a beer will get him wasted.
Luis almost died of alcohol poisoning when the doctor rubbed alcohol on his arm for his routine shot.

LosCiegosDelBarrio's bio.

"Los Ciegos Del Barrio" are a multi genre Latin music group from New York City. They play Merengue, Bachata, Salsa, Cumbia, Reggaeton, and Rock music in both English and Spanish. The name "Los Ciegos Del Barrio" literally translates to "The Blind Boys from the Hood". The name was originally meant to be a joke, but they ended up keeping it as an ice breaker. Most of the band is legally blind hence the name of the band. They have been playing together since 1997 and have been recording albums since the year 2000.

Core members
Alvin Suarez - Band director, lead guitar, drum kit, percussion and vocals.

Derek Christopher Suarez - Bass, Congas, percussion and vocals.

Machete - Keyboards, harmonica, accordion, percussion and vocals.

Other members
Jaime Diaz - Rhythm guitar, bass and vocals.

Jimmy Fontanez - Tambora, bongos and percussion.

Angel Dueno - Guira and timbales. He's the only member who's actually not visually impaired. Angel and Jimmy both live in upstate New York.

Apple I Tunes
Get our new album on the world's leading on line retailer.
Por Que? Por que!

http://www.facebook.com/losciegosdelbarrio
http://www.reverbnation.com/losciegosdelbarrio
http://www.myspace.com/losciegosdelbarrio
http://www.losciegosdelbarrio.com

Madre solo hay una

Dos amigos se encontraban tomando un café, y uno
le comenta en tono de queja al otro:

*
Mi mamá me llama mucho por teléfono a la oficina y solo para pedirme
que vaya a conversar con ella, siempre la misma quejadera, que 'se
siente sola'; la verdad yo voy poco y en ocasiones siento que me
molesta su forma de ser.

Ya sabes como son los viejos:

Cuentan las mismas cosas una y otra vez y sin mencionar de los

achaques
que estrena cada día; y bueno, como tu sabes nunca me faltan los
compromisos: Que el trabajo, que los amigos, la Asociación.. .. En
fin sabes como es, No?.........



El otro amigo se queda callado, y luego responde:

Yo
en cambio, converso mucho con mi mamá; cada vez que estoy triste, voy
con ella; cuando me siento solo o cuando tengo un problema y necesito
fortaleza, acudo a ella y ella me conforta, me da fortaleza, y siempre
termino sintiéndome mejor.

Caramba - se apenó el otro - Eres mejor que yo.



No lo creas, soy igual que tu, o al menos lo era, respondió el amigo con
tristeza. En realidad visito a mi mamá en el cementerio.

Murió hace tiempo, pero mientras estuvo conmigo, tampoco yo iba a
conversar con ella pensaba y sentía lo mismo que tú.

Y no sabes cuanta falta me hace ahora su presencia, cuánto no

daría por sentir las caricias que con tanto amor me prodigaba, y que
rechazaba porque 'ya no era un niño'; ó cuánto me pesa no haber
escuchado todos los consejos que me daba, cuando con torpeza le decía:
'Yo sé lo que hago', y por ello cometí muchos errores.

Ay amigo, si supieras ahora como la busco, y ahora es mi mejor amiga.

Cuando sentado en la tierra fría del camposanto mirando solo su foto en el
muro gris, en el que le puse 'te amo', (palabras que nunca escuchó de
mis labios), le pido que me perdone por haber sido tan frío, por las
veces que le mentí, y por los muchos besos que no le di, más el
silencio me responde y cuando una brisa

Acaricia mis mejillas, sé que ella me perdona.



-Mira
con ojos empañados a su amigo y luego dice- Discúlpame este arranque,
pero si de algo te sirve mi experiencia, Conversa con ella hoy que la
tienes, valora su presencia resaltando sus virtudes que seguro posee,
deja a un lado sus errores, que de una u otra forman parte de su ser.
No esperes a que esté en un cementerio porque ahí la reflexión duele
hasta el fondo del alma, porque entiendes que ya nunca podrás hacer lo
que dejaste

pendiente, será un hueco que nunca podrás llenar. No permitas que te
pase lo que me pasó a mí.

En el camino, iba pensando en las palabras de su amigo. Cuando llegó a la
oficina, dijo a su secretaria: Comuníqueme por favor con mi madre, no
me pase mas llamadas y también modifique mi agenda porque este día lo
dedicaré a ella!.

No dejes pasar este día sin decir 'te amo'.

Orgullo Boricua

Por qué ser orgulloso de NOSOTROS.
1) Somos el único país de las Américas que su gente (Taínos) continuaron luchando por su
libertad 200 años después de la invación española.
2) El único en tener un desierto árido (Lajas) y un bosque lluvioso a menos de 100 millas.
3) De las 4 playas fosforecentes del planeta tenemos 4.
4) Unico lugar perfecto para construir el radar-telescopio más grande del mundo.
5) 80% de su gente mantiene descendencia Taína.
6) El 40% de los técnicos que trabajan en la NASA de los E.U. son ex-estudiantes de nuestras
universidades.
7) Uno de los paaíses más pequeños pero con más reinas del Universo en porcentaje (5).
8) El país de América latina que ha ganado más medallas de oro en baloncesto internacional.
9) Hemos dado artistas de nombre mundial en todas áreas: Jennifer López, Marco Antonio, Jimmy
Smith, Raúl Juliá, Carlos Ponce, Isaias Morales, José Ferrér (primer latino en ganar el Oscar),
Rita Moreno (única mujer en ganar los 4 premios más importantes de la actuación), Joaquín Phoenix (El Emperador de la película Gladiators es de fajardo, ganó un Oscar), Fat Joe, Ricky, Martin, Sheila I, Cheyenne, etc...........
10) Uno de los dos únicos atletas de la historia de deporte en participar en 5 juegos Olímpicos,
Teo Cruz en baloncesto 1960-64-68-72-76.
11) Tierra de campeones mundiales del boxeo: Sixto Escobar, Cheguí Torres, Carlos Ortiz, Esteban de Jesús, El Salsero Escalera, Wilfredo Gómez, Wilfredo Benítez, Tito Trinidad, Carlos de León, Samuel Serrano, El Nene Sánchez, Macho Camacho, Rúiz, Edwin El Chapo Rosario, Juan Laporte, Cholo Espada, .....si sigo no termino......
12) Peloteros.....Clemente, Cepeda, Rodríguez Olmo, Santos Alomar, Victor Pellot, Hiram Bithorn,
Rogelio Negrón, Igor González, Iván Rodríguez, los Molinas, Bernabé Williams, Palillo Santiago,
Guillermo Montañez, Dicki Thon, los Alomar, Tino Martínez, Eduardito Figueroa, Rubén Sierra,
Chico Lind, Carlos Degado, Carlos Baerga, Rubén Gómez, si sigo me amanezco..........
13) Tenemos más corrientes de agua que cualquier país del mundo.
14) Muchos de nuestros hobres y mujeres influenciaron en la liberación de algunos paíse
Latinoamericanos en donde son héroes nacionales (y no en su Patria): Betances, Hostos, Lola Rodríguez de Tió, El General valero, El General Ruiz Rivera, Ruiz Belvis......
15) Tuvimos a la primera mujer Libertadora de las Américas: María de las Mercedes Barbudo.
16) Hemos llevado la música antillana a través del planeta con éxito: a toda Europa, Japón, Africa, China.....
17) Pintores como Francisco Oller, Campeche, Tufiño, etc.......
18) Tenores, cantantes, escritores..miles...................
19) El mejor café del mundo...........
20) El mejor ron del mundo..............
21) Las mejores Navidades del planeta................
22) Playas increíbles (las de Florida no se comparan jamás)
23) La Iglesia Porta Coeli, una de las más antiguas del nuevo mundo.
24) El Morro y San Cristobal....nos defendieron de cientos de invaciones de extranjeros que
trataron de conquistarnos y esclavizarnos....
25) Oh, Las cavernas de camuy...inmenzas, únicas y preciosas...........
26) El Coquí, ranita que ama tanto a su tierra que se muere si la deja............
27) La bahía de San Juan.....una de las mejores del mundo
28) Las montañas más bellas del planeta....Las tetas de Cayey-Salinas...(chiste) perdona sae
29) Tenemos la sabana más grande del mundo: Sabana Grande
30) Poetas internacionales, ni digamos..Matos Paoli, Julia de Burgos, Lloren Torres, .........
31) Nuestros platos: pernil, arroz con gandules, arroz con pollo, arepas con bacalao, guanimes con bacalao, habichuelas con patitas, garbanzos con patitas, pitipuás con patitas, bacalaitos fritos, surullos de maiz con o sin queso, majarete, asopaos de gallina, de camarones, de langosta, carne guisada, mondongo, ensalada de pulpo, camarones, carrullo, o langosta con tostones, empanadillas de carne, de camarones, de queso, de carrucho... arroz con jueyes, salmorejo de jueyes, guanimos, chivo guisado, asao de ternera, caldo de pollo con mofongo y carne frita, lechón asao con guineos, pescao con escabeche, alcapurrias de jueyes, de yuca,
24/7...pa gozarrrrr
32) Tenemos sitios especiales para compartir y bajar el "estres" con par de cervesitas; Piñonez, Boquerón, Punta Salinas, La Guancha, El Viejo San Juan, Isla Verde, El Condado, Las Croabas, Playa Santa, Playa de Rincón, Playa de Luquillo, Playa de Humacao, Playa del Combate, Guavate, Centros Ceremoniales Indígenas, Monte del Toro Negro, Reserva Forestal de Maricao, Punta Guilarte, Punta Santiago, El malecón de Arroyo, Playa de Mar Chiquita, Playa de Los Tubos, Playa de Isabela........
33) Ríos y lagos para pescar chopas, lobinas, camarones, guábaras, cocolías, buruquenas..........
34) Tenemos represas y recursos de agua para alumbrar a la República Dominicana, a Cuba y a la ciudad de México resultando en electricidad para 40 millones de hogares (y pagando por petroleo???????)
35) La Forlaleza: el lugar-sede de residencia de un gobernante más antiguo de el nuevo mundo
36) El Yunque: la montaña más incognita del planeta por su historia de huracanes, platillos voladores, desapariciones de personas, animales raros, bosque lluvioso, flores exóticas, corrientes de agua increíbles, aves extraordinarias........todo eso junto.
37) El único país del mundo que ama hasta la adoración a sus patriotas porque saben que son o fueron seres puros e inteligentes, dados a su pueblo...pero no siguen sus pasos. Albizu Campos, Betances, Ruiz Belvis, Rubén Berríos, Concepción de Gracia, Juan Antonio Corretjer, María de las Mercedes Barbudo, Lola de América, Eugenio María de Hostos, Mari Bras, Filiberto Ojeda, .................... :(
38) El único país del mundo que más del 50 % de sus habitantes tuvieron que emigrar y viven fuera del país sin tener una guerra civil (le ganamos a Israel).
39) El único país en el mundo que fue tuvo algún continuamente bombandeado por unos 60 años como lugar de práctica de decenas de países del mundo en donde dejaron millones de toneladas de desperdicios metálicos y químicos que han contaminado las playas del país debido a las corrientes marinas que azotan las playas. (ni en Korea, Viet-nam ni en Iraq).
40) El único país del mundo en donde el extranjero que lo visita se enamora de sus cosas y regresa o se queda a vivir
NUESTRA TIERRA

Hotel de Pueblo

Van un hindú, un judío y Chávez a un hotel de un pueblito y piden un cuarto para tres.
El intendente les dice:
-Sólo me queda un cuarto, que es para dos, pero si no les incomoda, tengo espacio en el establo para que uno se duerma ahí.





Los tres individuos deciden tomar el cuarto y en eso dice el hindú:
-Si quieren, yo me voy a dormir al establo y ustedes duermen en el cuarto.





A los cinco minutos tocan a la puerta del cuarto:
-¿Quién es?
- Soy el hindú, lo que pasa es que en el establo hay una vaca, y como es un animal sagrado para nosotros, no puedo dormir donde duerme una vaca.



El judío dice:
- No se preocupen, si quieren, yo me duermo en el establo.
A los cinco minutos tocan a la puerta del cuarto:
-¿Quién es?
- Soy el judío, lo que pasa es que en el establo hay un cerdo, y es un animal desagradable para nosotros, no puedo dormir donde duerme un cerdo.



En eso Chávez dice:
- No se preocupen, yo me iré a dormir al establo.



A los cinco minutos tocan a la puerta:
-¿Quien es?
- Somos la vaca y el cerdo... no soportamos esa mierda!!

Super cold!

Man its cold as hell out there.
Well not hell bc hell is hot!
But yall know what I mean.
Well am laying here in bed chillin wondering about stuff.
Was trying to figger out how to post links with in my post's.
But have not been able to figger that out yet.
So if any one knows how to accomplish this task please let me know.
Out for now!