¡Mamá, mamá, en la escuela me dicen mentiroso!
y dice la mamá: -¡Cállate, que ni vas a la escuela!
¿Qué le dijo una estatua a otra?
¡Sos una cara dura!
Un perro le dice a otro:
- ¡Guau!
El otro le responde
- ¡Guau, Guau!
Entonces el primero ofendido le reprocha
-¡Siempre cambiando de tema!
- ¿Qué pasa si un elefante se para sobre una pata?
- ¡El pato se queda viudo!
-¡Oye, Pepito! ¿Acaso copiaste el examen de Jaimito?
-¡No, Maestra, se lo juro!
-¡No mientas! ¡En la pregunta No. 10, él puso...¡No sé la respuesta!...y
tú escribiste...¡Y yo tampoco...!
Un hombre se paseaba por la calle, portando un enorme cartel que decía:
¡Que viva mi suegra...!
En la parte de atrás, se leía:
¡Pero que viva bien lejos....!
EN LA FARMACIA:
-¿TIENEN ALGO PARA EL CANSANCIO?
-¡SI...PERO ESTÁ AGOTADO...!
Tiernamente, la mujer le dice a su esposo:
-¡Oye, mi amor! ¿Cuándo me llevas a ver a las Momias de
Guanajuato?
-¡El día que quieras, pero avísales a tu madre y a tus
tías que vamos...no sea que les caigamos de sorpresa!
VENDO COMPUTADORA CON BUENA MEMORIA...ME TRAE INGRATOS RECUERDOS....
Dos señoras hablando:
-¡Mi hijo, en su nuevo trabajo, se encuentra como pez en el agua...!
-¿Y qué hace?
-¡Nada...nada...nada....!
El niño mosquito pregunta: -¡Mamá, mamá! ¿Puedo ir al teatro?
La mamá le responde: -¡Bueno, hijo, vé...pero ten mucho cuidado con los aplausos!
El bebé cocodrilo pregunta: -¡Dime, papá! ¿Algún día tendré mucho dinero?
El papá cocodrilo responde: -¡Claro, hijo, cuando seas billetera!
-¡Hola, señor, vengo a pedir la mano de su hija!
-¿Cuál, la mayor o la menor?
-¡Ah, caramba! ¿No tiene dos manos iguales?
Entra un hombre completamente borracho a su casa, a horas intempestivas, en estado lamentable, con todo el rostro manchado de lápiz labial. Su esposa, enfurecida, lo increpa:
-¿Estas son horas de llegar? ¿Y en ese estado? ¿Qué te pasó?
El borracho le responde:
-¡No vas a creerme...tuve una feroz pelea con un payaso!
Una joven anuncia a sus padres que se va a casar. El padre le pregunta:
-¡Dime, hijita! ¿Tu novio tiene dinero?
-¡Ay, papá! ¡Es lo mismo que él me pregunta de tí...!
¿Cómo se dice dentista en japonés?
Tekuro Tuocico.
¿Cómo se dice ducha en árabe?
Mohamed primero, secadme después.
¿Cómo se dice calzón en italiano?
Cassa de la mia colitta.
¿Cómo se dice usar el toilet en japonés?
Yoshicago agashaito.
¿Cómo se dice suegra en ruso?
Estorbo.
¿Cómo se dice besar en árabe?
Salibava salibaviene.
¿Cómo se dice resbalarse en chino?
Checayó.
¿Cómo se dice casada en chino?
Ya plobó.
¿Cómo se dice espejo en chino?
Ahitoy.
¿Cómo se dice minifalda en chino?
Chelevé.
¿Cómo se dice resorte en chino?
Toing.
¿Cómo se dice ministro de trabajo en japonés?
Tusudas Yocomo.
¿Cómo se llama el primer ruso que se cayó al suelo?
Kataplof.
¿Cómo se dice pobre en chino?
Chin Agua, Chin Lu, Chin naa.
¿Cómo se dice fusilamiento en árabe?
Bala-va atájala.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Southampton Varsity develops new way to generate music and control computers
University of Southampton researchers have developed a new way to generate music and control computers.
"Grab a block and add a base beat, turn a block to speed up the high hat and we have a new way to generate music through controlling the computer," said Dr Enrico Costanza at the University's ECS - Electronics and Computer Science, who is launching Audio d-touch.
Audio d-touch, which is based on Dr Costanza's research into tangible user interfaces, or TUIs, gives physical control in the immaterial world of computers. It uses a standard computer and a web cam. Through using simple computer vision techniques, physical blocks are tracked on a printed board. The position of the blocks then determines how the computer samples and reproduces sound.
"As more of our world moves into the electronic; records to mp3s, books to eBooks, we loose the satisfying richness of touching physical objects like paper and drumsticks," said Dr Costanza.
"Our Audio d-touch system allows people to set up and use tangible interfaces in their own home, office or recording studio, or wherever else they like," said Dr Costanza. This is the first time that anyone has developed a free application like this."
Audio d-touch is more than just for play: TUIs are an alternative to virtual worlds. Human-Computer Interaction researchers are investigating ways to move away from the online, purely digital world and rediscover the richness of our sense of touch.
Dr Costanza has developed Audio d-touch over several years, "Our aim is to advance the field by gaining insight into how tangible interfaces can be used in the real world. We are keen to have more people download audio d-touch and give us feedback so that we can improve it."
All that is needed is a regular computer equipped with a web-cam and a printer. The user creates physical interactive objects and attaches printed visual markers recognized by Audio d-touch. The software platform is open and can be extended for applications beyond music synthesis.
"Grab a block and add a base beat, turn a block to speed up the high hat and we have a new way to generate music through controlling the computer," said Dr Enrico Costanza at the University's ECS - Electronics and Computer Science, who is launching Audio d-touch.
Audio d-touch, which is based on Dr Costanza's research into tangible user interfaces, or TUIs, gives physical control in the immaterial world of computers. It uses a standard computer and a web cam. Through using simple computer vision techniques, physical blocks are tracked on a printed board. The position of the blocks then determines how the computer samples and reproduces sound.
"As more of our world moves into the electronic; records to mp3s, books to eBooks, we loose the satisfying richness of touching physical objects like paper and drumsticks," said Dr Costanza.
"Our Audio d-touch system allows people to set up and use tangible interfaces in their own home, office or recording studio, or wherever else they like," said Dr Costanza. This is the first time that anyone has developed a free application like this."
Audio d-touch is more than just for play: TUIs are an alternative to virtual worlds. Human-Computer Interaction researchers are investigating ways to move away from the online, purely digital world and rediscover the richness of our sense of touch.
Dr Costanza has developed Audio d-touch over several years, "Our aim is to advance the field by gaining insight into how tangible interfaces can be used in the real world. We are keen to have more people download audio d-touch and give us feedback so that we can improve it."
All that is needed is a regular computer equipped with a web-cam and a printer. The user creates physical interactive objects and attaches printed visual markers recognized by Audio d-touch. The software platform is open and can be extended for applications beyond music synthesis.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Presley's 'Jailhouse Rock' songwriter Jerry Leiber dies at 78
Jerry Leiber, the songwriter who penned the lyrics for Elvis Presley's classic rock and roll hits including 'Hound Dog' and 'Jailhouse Rock' died Monday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles of cardiopulmonary failure. He was 78.
Leiber earned his reputation alongside co-writer Mike Stoller, penning tunes for The Drifters, The Coasters and Ben E King as well as Presley.
Leiber's career began in 1953 when Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton became the first artist to record Hound Dog, sending the song - then a rhythm and blues number - to the top of the charts.
The song later became an even more successful hit record for Elvis Presley, who reinvented it as a rock and roll classic.
The pair also crafted the enduring Ben E King hit Stand By Me, seen by critics as one of their most influential and enduring songs.
Leiber and Stoller's work as a songwriting duo earned 15 number one hits and secured them both entry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, in 1987.
"The music world lost today one of its greatest poet laureates," the BBC quoted Terry Stewart, president of the Hall of Fame and Museum, in Cleveland, Ohio, as saying.
"Jerry not only wrote the words that everyone was singing, he led the way in how we verbalised our feelings about the societal changes we were living with in post-World War II life.
"Appropriately, his vehicles of choice were the emerging populist musical genres of rhythm and blues and then rock and roll," he said.
Leiber earned his reputation alongside co-writer Mike Stoller, penning tunes for The Drifters, The Coasters and Ben E King as well as Presley.
Leiber's career began in 1953 when Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton became the first artist to record Hound Dog, sending the song - then a rhythm and blues number - to the top of the charts.
The song later became an even more successful hit record for Elvis Presley, who reinvented it as a rock and roll classic.
The pair also crafted the enduring Ben E King hit Stand By Me, seen by critics as one of their most influential and enduring songs.
Leiber and Stoller's work as a songwriting duo earned 15 number one hits and secured them both entry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, in 1987.
"The music world lost today one of its greatest poet laureates," the BBC quoted Terry Stewart, president of the Hall of Fame and Museum, in Cleveland, Ohio, as saying.
"Jerry not only wrote the words that everyone was singing, he led the way in how we verbalised our feelings about the societal changes we were living with in post-World War II life.
"Appropriately, his vehicles of choice were the emerging populist musical genres of rhythm and blues and then rock and roll," he said.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Now, a boat hotel above Thames for 2012 Olympics
A bizarre new hotel, shaped like a boat,- is to be placed on top of the Queen Elizabeth Concert hall peering out over the River Thames for the 2012 Olympics to be held here.
The nautical building, due to be hoisted into position on London's South Bank in December, will be equipped with a mast and look-out station and guests will be expected to keep a detailed log and hoist a flag to indicate they are aboard, the Daily Mail reports.
The designers of the building, called A Room For London are David Kohn Architects and artist Fiona Banner who said they set out to create something 'playful, beguiling and thought-provoking.'
The hotel, which is expected to be massively popular during next year's Olympic games, will have panoramic windows and an upper viewing deck affording some of the most spectacular views of the capital.
But those demanding a degree of privacy will be left very disappointed. The South Bank is one of the busiest places in town and guests will have to get used to a constant stream of curious tourists.
Inside, it will be fitted-out using real timber and the designers promise it will be full of 'nooks and crannies' for guests to explore
The design was chosen from 500 entries in a competition set up by cultural organizations Living Architecture, and Artangel, in association with Southbank Centre.
The hotel will be equipped with a mast and look-out post and guests will be required to hoist a flag to show they are in residence
Tickets for night stays during the first half of 2012 will be available from next month and tickets for the rest of the year, covering the Olympics, will go on sale in January.
A spokesman for the architects said: 'It will appear to have come to rest there, grounded, perhaps, from the retreating waters of the Thames below.
'The idea evolved from narratives of travel and displacement in literature, in particular Joseph Conrad's novella 'Heart of Darkness,''
The nautical building, due to be hoisted into position on London's South Bank in December, will be equipped with a mast and look-out station and guests will be expected to keep a detailed log and hoist a flag to indicate they are aboard, the Daily Mail reports.
The designers of the building, called A Room For London are David Kohn Architects and artist Fiona Banner who said they set out to create something 'playful, beguiling and thought-provoking.'
The hotel, which is expected to be massively popular during next year's Olympic games, will have panoramic windows and an upper viewing deck affording some of the most spectacular views of the capital.
But those demanding a degree of privacy will be left very disappointed. The South Bank is one of the busiest places in town and guests will have to get used to a constant stream of curious tourists.
Inside, it will be fitted-out using real timber and the designers promise it will be full of 'nooks and crannies' for guests to explore
The design was chosen from 500 entries in a competition set up by cultural organizations Living Architecture, and Artangel, in association with Southbank Centre.
The hotel will be equipped with a mast and look-out post and guests will be required to hoist a flag to show they are in residence
Tickets for night stays during the first half of 2012 will be available from next month and tickets for the rest of the year, covering the Olympics, will go on sale in January.
A spokesman for the architects said: 'It will appear to have come to rest there, grounded, perhaps, from the retreating waters of the Thames below.
'The idea evolved from narratives of travel and displacement in literature, in particular Joseph Conrad's novella 'Heart of Darkness,''
Saturday, August 20, 2011
US Students Spread Musical Message in Kenya
A group of university students and alumni has returned to the United States after three weeks in Kenya, where they were part of a cultural exchange program which aims to transform lives through music.
The group, from Berklee College of Music in Boston, taught music, performed, donated instruments to a local community center and learned about traditional Kenyan music.
Music is an integral part of life in Kenya.
"Growing up, I sang a lot in school. And we had competitions and choir and music every year," says Sam Lutomia, a staff member at Berklee College of Music. Born and raised in Kenya, he now lives and works in Boston. "When I moved to the States, I got exposed to a higher level of music and I was like, 'Is there something I can do now that I'm in the States?'"
Global Youth GrooveBerklee alumnus Aaron Colverson with a student at Matende High School in Kakamega, Kenya.
He co-founded Global Youth Groove, with the goal of exposing Kenyan young people to Western music and encouraging them to pursue a career in music.
"I started talking with students at Berklee College of Music and faculty members and they all responded positively," says Lutomia. "And we started collecting instruments. After that, we traveled to Kenya last month to start a community center."
Thirteen Americans made the trip, including four high school students from the Boston area. Among them was 17-year-old Marina Miller.
"We started out in Nairobi," she says. "We got a chance to meet with local musicians and listen to them play."
Global Youth GrooveChildren at the Divine Providence Children's Home in Kakamega, Kenya, examine a guitar.
In Kakamega, in western Kenya, the Americans presented a gift.
"We"ve gathered like 20 instruments," says project coordinator Aaron Colverson. "They include acoustic guitar, electric guitar, acoustic violin, flute, clarinet, saxophone, also a trumpet and a trombone. We had some recorders and also an entire drum kit, lap tops and recording software."
Dozens of young Kenyans, between the ages of 15 and 30, took workshops offered by the group.
Berklee student David Chapman says, for some of the Kenyans, it was their first time seeing and touching such instruments. "Their music classes would just be them reading books about western instruments.
The workshops offered a more hands-on approach.
"We would lecture for a while and teach, everything would be very interactive," Chapman says. "If anyone had any questions or wanted to play with instruments, we would always welcome that."
The group also held workshops in orphanages and performed at a national music festival.
"When you put music in front of kids, it seems that their minds open up," says project coordinator Aaron Colverson. "Music gives them a chance to express themselves through songs and writing the songs."
Throughout the trip, the group met with local musicians and listened to them play. They also learned about traditional Kenyan instruments, dances and songs.
The short trip has had a lasting impact, according to Nairobi native Wambura Mitaru, who studies at Berklee.
"Up until today, kids are talking to one another," she says. "There is one young man, his name is Scott from Kenya, and he plays violin. He met with Aaron Colverson from Berklee. They really got to jam with each other and play the violin and Scott got to learn about different things. He now plays everywhere, when he can."
Trip leader Sam Lutomia is happy with the enthusiasm generated by the exchange program. He hopes the trip becomes an annual event and would like to expand it to neighboring countries.
The group, from Berklee College of Music in Boston, taught music, performed, donated instruments to a local community center and learned about traditional Kenyan music.
Music is an integral part of life in Kenya.
"Growing up, I sang a lot in school. And we had competitions and choir and music every year," says Sam Lutomia, a staff member at Berklee College of Music. Born and raised in Kenya, he now lives and works in Boston. "When I moved to the States, I got exposed to a higher level of music and I was like, 'Is there something I can do now that I'm in the States?'"
Global Youth GrooveBerklee alumnus Aaron Colverson with a student at Matende High School in Kakamega, Kenya.
He co-founded Global Youth Groove, with the goal of exposing Kenyan young people to Western music and encouraging them to pursue a career in music.
"I started talking with students at Berklee College of Music and faculty members and they all responded positively," says Lutomia. "And we started collecting instruments. After that, we traveled to Kenya last month to start a community center."
Thirteen Americans made the trip, including four high school students from the Boston area. Among them was 17-year-old Marina Miller.
"We started out in Nairobi," she says. "We got a chance to meet with local musicians and listen to them play."
Global Youth GrooveChildren at the Divine Providence Children's Home in Kakamega, Kenya, examine a guitar.
In Kakamega, in western Kenya, the Americans presented a gift.
"We"ve gathered like 20 instruments," says project coordinator Aaron Colverson. "They include acoustic guitar, electric guitar, acoustic violin, flute, clarinet, saxophone, also a trumpet and a trombone. We had some recorders and also an entire drum kit, lap tops and recording software."
Dozens of young Kenyans, between the ages of 15 and 30, took workshops offered by the group.
Berklee student David Chapman says, for some of the Kenyans, it was their first time seeing and touching such instruments. "Their music classes would just be them reading books about western instruments.
The workshops offered a more hands-on approach.
"We would lecture for a while and teach, everything would be very interactive," Chapman says. "If anyone had any questions or wanted to play with instruments, we would always welcome that."
The group also held workshops in orphanages and performed at a national music festival.
"When you put music in front of kids, it seems that their minds open up," says project coordinator Aaron Colverson. "Music gives them a chance to express themselves through songs and writing the songs."
Throughout the trip, the group met with local musicians and listened to them play. They also learned about traditional Kenyan instruments, dances and songs.
The short trip has had a lasting impact, according to Nairobi native Wambura Mitaru, who studies at Berklee.
"Up until today, kids are talking to one another," she says. "There is one young man, his name is Scott from Kenya, and he plays violin. He met with Aaron Colverson from Berklee. They really got to jam with each other and play the violin and Scott got to learn about different things. He now plays everywhere, when he can."
Trip leader Sam Lutomia is happy with the enthusiasm generated by the exchange program. He hopes the trip becomes an annual event and would like to expand it to neighboring countries.
French fashion label draws fire with lingerie for young girls
French company Jours Après Lunes is drawing fire from critics over its new range of ‘loungerie’, which is reportedly a mix between loungewear and lingerie...but for young girls.
“What's disturbing about Jours Après Lunes is not just the fact that it's lingerie for people who probably shouldn't be old enough to even know what lingerie is, but the photographs on their website,” an opinion piece on Fashion website Fashionista.com opined.
Fashionista.com broke the story of Jours Après Lunes’ new line of underwear, which has been released along with a photographic ad campaign featuring infants, young girls and teenagers wearing the ‘loungerie’.
They smile for the camera, reclining in bras and panties, some wearing makeup and expressions that some have called disturbing.
Jours Après Lunes creator Sophie Morin defended her brand and the photographs included in the ad campaign in an interview with the Lingerie Trade website.
Morin insisted that there was no “vulgar connotation” in the ad campaign photos, because none of the materials used are transparent, while she said her collection includes no bras as none of the tops include support wires.
This is not the first time child-oriented fashion has created an uproar. The US clothing brand Abercrombie and Fitch drew fire from the public when it released its "Ashley" push-up bra for 70year-olds. The bra was later marketed to 12-year-olds as well.
“What's disturbing about Jours Après Lunes is not just the fact that it's lingerie for people who probably shouldn't be old enough to even know what lingerie is, but the photographs on their website,” an opinion piece on Fashion website Fashionista.com opined.
Fashionista.com broke the story of Jours Après Lunes’ new line of underwear, which has been released along with a photographic ad campaign featuring infants, young girls and teenagers wearing the ‘loungerie’.
They smile for the camera, reclining in bras and panties, some wearing makeup and expressions that some have called disturbing.
Jours Après Lunes creator Sophie Morin defended her brand and the photographs included in the ad campaign in an interview with the Lingerie Trade website.
Morin insisted that there was no “vulgar connotation” in the ad campaign photos, because none of the materials used are transparent, while she said her collection includes no bras as none of the tops include support wires.
This is not the first time child-oriented fashion has created an uproar. The US clothing brand Abercrombie and Fitch drew fire from the public when it released its "Ashley" push-up bra for 70year-olds. The bra was later marketed to 12-year-olds as well.
Friday, August 19, 2011
AND I LOVE HER
Lyrics
---
I give her all my love
That's all I do
And if you saw my love
You'd love her too
I love her
She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her
A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I
Have you near me
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
---
I give her all my love
That's all I do
And if you saw my love
You'd love her too
I love her
She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her
A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I
Have you near me
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her
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