1997 : Ila Borders pitches in minor league game

On this day in 1997, Ila Borders becomes the first woman to pitch in a minor league baseball game, when she enters a game in relief for the St. Paul Saints of the Northern League. Mike Veeck, son of famous baseball impresario and promoter Bill Veeck, owned the Saints, and signed Borders to garner publicity for his team and the Northern League, an independent minor league not affiliated with Major League Baseball. Borders, though, was more than an attraction: She could throw strikes, and she went on to pitch in the Northern League for three years. Ila Borders was born on February 18, 1975, in La Marida, California. A left-hander, she was five feet eight inches tall and 140 pounds when she began pitching for Southern California College in Costa Mesa, California. At 19, she became the first woman to throw a complete game in men’s college baseball. Even then, her stated goal was to be the first woman to pitch in the major leagues. Although Borders threw only between 70 and 79 mph at her fastest, she used an assortment of off-speed pitches and breaking balls to compensate for her lack of speed. In her first minor league outing, Borders had a bad day. She hit the first batter, balked while pitching to the second batter, forcing in a run, and then committed an error after inducing that batter to hit the ball back to her. After the third batter she faced hit a double, she was pulled. The next day, she pitched again, striking out the side this time in her one inning of work. Borders was then acquired mid-season by the Duluth Dukes. She made 15 appearances with the team, with no wins and no losses. The Duluth squad she joined had been in last place, but ended up making the playoffs and winning the Northern League championship in 1997; Borders contributed a scoreless inning in a tight playoff game. Borders had no trouble with her own teammates accepting her onto the team, but one opposing manager that year threatened to forfeit if his team had to face her. However, the Fargo manager did not follow through on his promise, and Borders pitched six shutout innings that day, leaving the game with a 2-0 lead. In 1998, Borders became the first woman to get a win in a professional game. She won two more games the following year. Despite these successes, she retired after the 2000 season, never having been invited to try out for a major league franchise or one of their minor league affiliates.

Flower Show

Two little old ladies, Dorace & Jackie were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Jackie leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!' 'You're on!' said Dorace, holding up a $10.00 note. So Jackie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling Jackie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd. 'What happened?' asked her waiting friend. 'I won $1,000 as 1st prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement!

True story

Was not sure if I wanted to put this up here, cause I did not want people to think am off my rocker! Lol! Anyways, its about some strange thing that hapend to me. Back in September 13th 1997. Never told this to a single soul before. So this is the first time am telling this. So every one and their mother is going to know at the same time as am telling the world! Lol! :p On september 13 of 1997 I had a heart attack. But thats what I'm not going to talk about. Lol! But I do have to say, that sure was one scary situation. Its something I do not wish on my worst enemy. My first day in the, I C U. intensive care unit Before I go on, just thought I'd let yall know, I still had sight back then. Well a little. Anyways getting back! Mom and the pastor's wife had just left my room. And I for sure was all alone. As I chilled in bed, I saw a very bright light hovering over me. After a few minutes or so. I saw a tall dark figure walk in to my room. It walked from the right side of the room over to the left side. And stood to the left of my bed. And thats when the bright light hovered much closer to me. I suddenly felt a very aggressive hand cover my mouth. And with 2 fingers pinching my nose. Pretty much to keep me from breathing. And with my hand's, I pushed it away! But then again it came back, and again I pushed it away! Then out of frustration, the tall dark figure exhaled and walked away. Disappearing behind the machines, that were off to the left of the bed. Wild being escorted by the bright light.

Government Warning regarding purchase of UPS uniforms

Government Warning regarding purchase of UPS uniforms: There has been a huge purchase, $32,000 worth, of United Parcel Service (UPS) uniforms on eBay over the last 30 days. This could represent a serious threat as bogus drivers (terrorists) can drop off anything to anyone with deadly consequences! If you have ANY questions when a UPS driver appears at your door they should be able to furnish VALID I.D. Additionally, if someone in a UPS uniform comes to make a drop off or pick up, make absolutely sure! they are driving a UPS truck. UPS doesn't make deliveries or pickups in anything, except a company vehicle. If you have a problem, call your local law enforcement agency right away! TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! Tell everyone in your office, your family, your friends, etc. Make people aware so that we can prepare and/or avoid terrorist attacks on our people! Thank you for your time in reviewing this and PLEASE send to EVERYONE on your list, even if they are friend or foe. We should all be aware! Management Program Specialist U.S. Department of Homeland Security Bureau Customs and Border Protection Washington, DC20229

Cat Quotes

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." --Ellen Perry Berkeley "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly "Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch "People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." --Anonymous "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." --Hippolyte Taine "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."

"The Four Freshmen: Tenor Bob Flanigan Dies At 84

Bob Flanigan, an original member of the four-part jazz vocal harmony group The Four Freshmen, has died in Las Vegas at age 84, a manager of the group said Monday. Flanigan died Sunday at home of congestive heart failure, with family members nearby and several local trombonists playing songs, IVI Management agent Dina Roth said. "Flanigan's voice was indestructible," said Ross Barbour, the last remaining original member of the four-man group. "He could drive all day and all night without stopping between gigs, and when our voices were on the edge Bob was still in full form." Barbour, 82, now lives in Simi Valley, Calif. Flanigan and his cousins Ross Barbour and Don Barbour formed the group in 1948 with Hal Kratzsch while attending Butler University in Indiana. Flanigan played trombone and bass and sang lead parts. Don Barbour died in a car crash in 1961. Kratzsch died in 1970. The group produced more than 50 albums and 70 singles, and had six Grammy nominations over the years, Roth said. Best-known recordings were "It's a Blue World" in 1952, "Mood Indigo" in 1954, "Day by Day" in 1955 and "Graduation Day" in 1956. The group was credited with being an early influence on Beach Boys founder Brian Wilson. Flanigan retired in 1992, but Roth said he kept a hand in the changing cast of performers and management of The Four Freshmen name. The group's current cast — Brian Eichenberger, Curtis Calderon, Vince Johnson and Bob Ferreira — are due to perform Wednesday in Boston. Flanigan is survived by his wife, Mary Flanagan, six children and 15 grandchildren. Memorial service plans were pending.

Sheer Nightgowns Can Be Fatal

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks (she's no dummy), "I have an idea ... it's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself." She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!" He never heard the shot. Funeral is on Thursday at Noon.

Norma Zimmer, The "Champagne Lady" Of "The Lawrence Welk TV Show, " Dies At 87

Norma Zimmer, the "Champagne Lady" of TV's "The Lawrence Welk Show" and a studio singer who worked with Frank Sinatra and other pop stars, has died. She was 87. Zimmer died peacefully Tuesday at her Brea, Calif., home, Welk's son, Larry, said Wednesday. Larry Welk didn't know the cause of death but said Zimmer had been living an active life in recent years. She was one of the most gracious, likable people that anyone could ever meet. The other people on the show, to this day, just respect and love her," Larry Welk said. Zimmer performed on Welk's network and later syndicated show from 1960 to 1982 as the "Champagne Lady," the title Welk traditionally gave to his orchestra's lead female singer. Zimmer sang solos, duets with Jimmy Roberts and waltzed with Welk to the strains of his effervescent dance tunes tagged "champagne music. She appeared on the orchestra's public TV specials that have aired (along with repeats of the series) since 1987. Zimmer took part in a tribute to Welk and his show held earlier this year at the Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills. Welk, who stopped performing in 1989, died in 1992. Zimmer, born in July 1923 in Larson, Idaho, grew up in Seattle. The petite blonde sang with The Girlfriends, a quartet that performed with Sinatra, Dean Martin and Bing Crosby, including on Crosby's famed recording of "White Christmas. Zimmer made several film and TV appearances, including one with Crosby in the 1950 film "Mr. Music" and in an episode of "I Love Lucy," and was the voice of the White Rose in the 1951 Disney film, "Alice in Wonderland. Her survivors include her sons, Ron and Mark. Her husband, businessman Randy Zimmer, died in 2008. Funeral services for Zimmer were pending. .

BRAVE MAN JOKES

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care. What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.. It's called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die before their wives? They want to. Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who don't own a gun.

The ten greatest accidental inventions

1. The Microwave - Percy L. Spencer Percy Spencer, an engineer at Raytheon after his WWI stint in the Navy, was known as an electronics genius. In 1945, Spencer was fiddling with a microwave-emitting magnetron-used in the guts of radar arrays-when he felt a strange sensation in his pants. A sizzling, even. Spencer paused and found that a chocolate bar in his pocket had started to melt. Figuring that the microwave radiation of the magnetron was to blame (or to credit, as it would turn out), Spencer immediately set out to realize the culinary potential at work. The end result was the microwave oven-savior of eager snackers and single dudes worldwide. 2. Saccharin - Ira Remsen, Constantin Fahlberg In 1879, Ira Remsen and Constantin Fahlberg, at work in a laboratory at Johns Hopkins University, paused to eat. Fahlberg had neglected to wash his hands before the meal-which usually leads to a quick death for most chemists, but led to him noticing an oddly sweet flavor during his meal. Artificial sweetener! The duo published their findings together, but it was only Fahlberg's name that made it onto the (incredibly lucrative) patent, now found in pink packets at tables everywhere. That is to say, Remsen got screwed-he later remarked, "Fahlberg is a scoundrel. It nauseates me to hear my name mentioned in the same breath with him." 3. Slinky - Richard James In 1943, Navy engineer Richard James was trying to figure out how to use springs to keep the sensitive instruments aboard ships from rocking themselves to death, when he knocked one of his prototypes over. Instead of crashing to the floor, it gracefully sprang downward, and then righted itself. So pointless-so nimble-so slinky. The spring became a goofy toy of many childhoods-that is before every kid inevitably gets theirs all twisted up and ruins it. 300 million sold worldwide! 4. Play-Doh - Kutol Products Before being found ground into the rugs of child-rearing homes everywhere, Play-Doh was ironically created to be a cleaning product. The paste was first marketed as a treatment for filthy wallpaper-before the company that produced it began to go down the tubes. The discovery that saved Kutol Products-headed for bankruptcy-wasn't that their wall cleaner worked particularly well, but that schoolchildren were beginning to use it to create Christmas ornaments as arts and crafts projects. By removing the compound's cleanser and adding colors and a fresh scent, Kutol spun their wallpaper saver into one of the most iconic toys of all time-and brought mega-success to a company headed for destruction. Sometimes, you don't even know how brilliant you are until someone notices for you. 5. Super Glue - Harry Coover In what have been a very messy moment of discovery in 1942, Dr. Harry Coover of Eastman-Kodak Laboratories found that a substance he created-cyanoacrylate-was a miserable failure. It was not, to his dismay, at all suited for a new precision gun sight as he had hoped-it infuriatingly stuck to everything it touched. So it was forgotten. Six years later, while overseeing an experimental new design for airplane canopies, Coover found himself stuck in the same gooey mess with a familiar foe- cyanacrylate was proving useless as ever. But this time, Coover observed that the stuff formed an incredibly strong bond without needing heat. Coover and his team tinkered with sticking various objects in their lab together, and realized they had finally stumbled upon a use for the maddening goop. Coover slapped a patent on his discovery, and in 1958, a full 16 years after he first got stuck, cyanoacrylate was being sold on shelves. 6. Teflon - Roy Plunkett The next time you make a frustration-free omelette, thank chemist Roy Plunkett, whose experienced immense frustration while inadvertently inventing Teflon in 1938. Plunkett had hoped to create a new variety of chlorofluorocarbons (better known as universally-despised CFCs), when he came back to check on his experiment in a refrigeration chamber. When he inspected a canister that was supposed to be full of gas, he found that it appeared to have vanished-leaving behind only a few white flakes. Plunkett was intrigued by these mysterious chemical bits, and began at once to experiment with their properties. The new substance proved to be a fantastic lubricant with an extremely high melting point-perfect at first for military gear, and now the stuff found finely applied across your non-stick cookware. 7. Bakelite - Leo Baekeland In 1907, shellac was commonly used to insulate the innards of early electronics-think radios and telephones. This was fine, aside from the fact that shellac is made from Asian beetle poop, and not exactly the cheapest or easiest way to insulate a wire. What Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland found in instead was-get ready-polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride, the world's first synthetic plastic, commonly known as Bakelite. This pioneering plastic was moldable into virtually any shape, in any color, and could hold its form against high temperatures and daily wear- making it a star among manufacturers, jewelers, and industrial designers. 8. Pacemaker - Wilson Greatbatch An assistant professor at the University of Buffalo thought he had ruined his project. Instead of picking a 10,000-ohm resistor out of a box to use on a heart-recording prototype, Wilson Greatbatch took the 1-megaohm variety. The resulting circuit produced a signal that sounded for 1.8 milliseconds, and then paused for a second-a dead ringer for the human heart. Greatbatch realized the precise current could regulate a pulse, overriding the imperfect heartbeat of the ill. Before this point, pacemakers were television-sized, cumbersome things that were temporarily attached to patients from the outside. But now the effect could be achieved with a small circuit, perfect to tuck into someone's chest. 9. Velcro - George de Mestral A dog invented velcro. Alright, that's something of an exaggeration, but a dog did play an instrumental role. Swiss engineer George de Mestral was out for a hunting trip with his pooch, and noticed the annoying tendency of burrs to stick to its fur (and his socks). Later, looking under a microscope, Mestral observed the tiny "hooks" that stuck burrs to fabrics and furs. Mestral experimented for years with a variety of textiles before arriving at the newly invented nylon-though it wasn't until two decades later that NASA's fondness for velcro popularized the tech. 10. X-Rays - Wilhelm Roentgen Okay, yes, x-rays are a phenomenon of the natural world, and thus can't be created. But sshhh! The story of their discovery is a fascinating one of incredible chance. In 1895, German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen was performing a routine experiment involving cathode rays, when he noticed that a piece of fluorescent cardboard was lighting up from across the room. A thick screen had been placed between his cathode emitter and the radiated cardboard, proving that particles of light were passing through solid objects. Amazed, Roentgen quickly found that brilliant images could be produced with this incredible radiation-the first of their kind being a skeletal image of his wife's hand.

Emergency Alert System For Cell Phones

NEW YORK -- An emergency alert system that will send messages to cellphones during disasters could have been used to warn New Yorkers of the tornadoes that hit the city last year, city officials said Tuesday. Federal officials joined New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to announce the Commercial Mobile Alert System, which will direct emergency messages to cellphones in case of a terrorist attack, natural disaster or other emergencies. There will be three levels of messages, ranging from a critical national alert from the president to warnings about impending or occurring national disasters to alerts about missing or abducted children. People will be able to opt out of receiving all but the presidential alerts, Federal Communications Commission Chairman Julius Genachowski said. The alert system will be up and running in New York and Washington, D.C. by the end of the year. Genachowski said the goal is to ultimately install the system throughout the United States. New York City Emergency Management Commissioner Joseph Bruno said the alert system could have warned residents of two destructive tornadoes that hit Brooklyn and Queens last year. The tornadoes killed one woman and caused extensive property damage. A special chip is required to allow the phone to receive the messages. Some smartphones already have the chip, and software updates will be available when the network goes online later this year. The chips will not allow government agencies to collect information about the phones' users, said Craig Fugate, administrator of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Fugate said cell phones turned on in the direct vicinity of a disaster -- an evacuation zone, for instance -- would receive a message warning them of the impending danger. The alert would show up on the phone's front screen, instead of the traditional text message inbox, and arrive with a distinct ring and likely a vibration. Gilberto Palma, a 62-year-old maintenance supervisor in the World Financial Center, a complex that was severely damaged in the 9/11 attacks, said he thought the alert system was a great idea. Everybody's going to be happy, especially in this area," he said. In this building, everybody's still on alert. Debbie Hayes, a 49-year-old nanny who passed through the complex on the way to a play date with her 11-month-old charge, said she was also thrilled with the idea of getting important information instantly during a crisis, even if she isn't at home in front of the TV. I'm, like, on the go. I'm not in one place," she said, adding that she was curious about whether the system would work on the subway, where she has suffered from anxiety since the 9/11 attacks.

John Walker, Frontman For The Walker Brothers, Has Died

John Walker, the American-born musician who was the frontman for the Walker Brothers, one of the most successful bands of Britain's Golden Age of rock `n' roll, has died at age 67. Walker died Saturday of liver cancer, his personal assistant, Polly Klemmer, told The Associated Press. He had continued to work until just a few weeks ago, making his last concert appearance in Los Angeles in March, Klemmer said Sunday. He had his greatest success as the guitarist and vocalist for the Walker Brothers, which produced such 1960s hits as "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore," "Love Her," "Make it Easy on Yourself" and "My Ship Is Comin' In. While the Beatles and other British groups were remaking the face of rock `n' roll during the so-called British invasion of America in the mid-1960s, Walker moved from the United States to England instead. There, he and two other Americans, bassist Scott Engel and drummer Gary Leeds, called themselves the Walker Brothers and each adopted Walker as his surname, although they were not related. They had instant success with their first British recording, 1964's "Love Her," and a string of hits quickly followed. Walker, who was born John Maus, had begun using the name Walker professionally when he was 17, adopting it, according to some accounts, so he could obtain a fake I.D. that allowed him to play at nightclubs he was too young to legally enter. He, Engel and drummer Al "Tiny" Schneider, first used the name Walker Brothers when they worked as the house band at the Hollywood nightclub Gazzari's, shortly before he and Engel moved to Britain and joined Leeds. As part of the Walker Brothers, he toured the world and sold more than 23 million records, according to his website. The group also appeared on numerous British television shows in the 1960s, including the popular music programs "Ready, Steady, Go," "Top of the Pops" and the "Billy Cotton Band Show. He also appeared in the film "Beach Ball," the German music series "Beat Club" and other shows. Walker, who took up the guitar at age 14, began performing professionally in the late 1950s. By the early 1960s he was a regular at such popular Hollywood clubs as Pandora's Box on the Sunset Strip and on the college circuit. During those years, he worked with such musicians as Ritchie Valens and Glen Campbell, with producer Phil Spector and songwriters Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart, who wrote for the Monkees and other groups. Although he returned to the United States in the 1980s, Klemmer said Sunday that Walker continued to tour England every year as part of a "Silver 60s" show until his health declined last year. He was diagnosed with cancer in December. He had put together an LA-based band and had planned to do more performing here," she said. Walker is survived by his wife, Cynthia; a sister, Judy Hoyt; children Jamie Maus Anderson, Nickoletta Drew Maus, Adam Sarrazin and Heather Stewart, as well as several grandchildren.